The Getaway Trip
by Ryan1441
Summary: Ryan has been best friends with Doug, Stu, and Phil for two years. When they invite him to Doug's wedding and bachelor party, Ryan didn't expect to wake up with no memory of the wild night they had. Now Ryan has very little time to find Doug, or else there will be no wedding.
1. The Ride

**Warning: this already critically acclaimed comedy has strong offensive content.**

**I don't own The Hangover part 1 or 2... though I do have the blu-ray copies of them.**

Chapter 1: The ride.

I was waiting paitently inside my classroom, currently teaching these students the mystery about PI. "Do you guys wanna know what his whole circle is about?" I asked them. Either they're bored, texting, or not caring, probably all of the above, I decide to give them a nice theroy that will give them a notice. I write down some random numbers: 5472380520.

"You guys see these numbers?" I asked them again, this time they look up. "Glad I got your attention. These numbers, are connected to this circle. Why, do you might ask? Because the numbers are going around in circles, all around in life as each day passes us. These numbers can be anything: Your phone numbers, your social security cards... your birth dates."

I got'em. My students are finally interested in something. "I.D's. Serial numbers. All connected to this one circe called PI."

I'm finally happy with my new teaching career, watching the students write down some notes on my short lecture. The bell rings as they being to get up and walk out of my classroom very quickly. I sit down on my desk, taking some deep breaths, really fustrated on how hard my job is. I just graduated about four years ago at 18 years old. I was very high on academic levels in Math, English, and History. That's why during the start of my college years, the teachers noticed my interests and my high intelligence on the subjects. That's why they started to let me help substitue in their classes, before the principal noticed my skills in the class, and that's how I came to be here. He offered me a job as the new math teacher, along with teaching some easy history classes.

Now I'm 22 and annoyed with my school life. Nothing has been happening for me in my life but bad luck, other than seeing my dad and grandparents. They are very proud of me, but I'm pissed off because I rarely see them, less than twenty times a year. Before I got to this school here in California, I always got to see them. Besides that, I go around places, trying to meet some girls, but they don't seem to believe that a 22-year old is a teacher at a college. Fuck.

Oh yeah, I forgot, I often like to keep track of days and time. I'm very good at math, and it's a bad habit sometimes.

History class, my final class of the day starts. What we're learning about is dictatorship, led by the most ruthless, most dispicable men in the history of our world. "Okay people, let's go over this dictator stuff again, which is related to your upcoming project. Now who can tell me, who the most brutal dictator was back then before world war two, who was also part of the Axis party? And here's a hint. It wasn't Hitler." I asked them. A few raise their hand. I point at a guy, George I think, who's wearing a grey sweater.

"Was it Joseph Stalin?" He asked.

"Yes sir. How do you know that?" I asked.

"My grandpa was a vetren of world war 2, he met the Russian army when he was in action, and they told him about what Stalin was like back then, during, and after the war, how he had his own men shot if they left the field."

Kind of a lazy answer, but I'll take it. "Very good. But getting shot for leaving is not related to your project. This weekend I want you to go to the library, and check out the book 'Animal Farm'. It's a book about a revolution of animals, how they attempt to lead the farm into success, only for one pig to turn it into dictatorship like Stalin. And make sure you don't look up online. I want you to read the book, use your laptops, and print out a report on the first ten chapters about revolution and leadership."

The bell rings. "Make sure it's something you don't copy off of wikipedia or websites. I'm gonna be looking over your reports very carefully." I warned them as they ignored me. I hear my phone vibrate, so I pull it out of my pocket to see who it is.

_Doug_.

I smirked at the name on my phone. I remember meeting him two years ago, after he helped me from a beatdown from some other douchbags who were trying to mug me. Sure he was a little guy, but he knew how to fight, and had the kind heart to help a guy like me out,

After that, I often see him a lot, and when we talked, we bonded very well, about our stressed lives, other than the fact that Doug is having a great three year relationship with his girlfriend Tracy. He's taken me to bars, though I never drink, and helped me try to pick up women, but with little success.

Soon enough, he introduced me to Phil a month later after the mug incident, and though there nearly thirty years old and I'm only 19, we had a good friendship going on.

Then came Stu... my dentist. He was another friend of Doug, a very good man, but I noticed he's in a bad relationship with the most meanist, most controlling woman who won't let Stu have his own fun: Melissa. God I hate that fucking bitch. She insisted that he couldn't be friends with his own paitents, or a matter of fact, a 19-year old. But other than that, I bonded with the three very well, and they accepted me as their best friend, despite I was ten years younger than them.

Then one day, Doug announced that he was getting married to Tracy, and invited me to his wedding... as one of the groomsmen. I was very shocked and very happy at the same time, but what came even more shocking was they invited me to his bachelor party... in Las Vegas. Holy fuck.

I answered the phone with a usual hello gesture I always say: "Yello?"

_"Hey Ryan, what's taking ya so long? I'm outside waiting for ya!"_ He asked.

"Sorry Doug, unlike Phil, I'm very busy here at college, I just need to grab my bags, then I'll be out."

_"Okay then."_

"Dude. Thanks for taking me along for the weekend in Vegas, not to mention thanks for the invite to the wedding."

_"No problem Ry, your one of my four best friends."_

Four? Fuck! If Doug says four, then that means... Alan. Goddamnit! It's not like I hate or dislike Alan, but there's something wrong with the man, as if he still thinks he's a child. I mean what the hell is the matter with him? But then again, I had to be nice to him for the weekend.

"Thanks Doug. I'll see you in about a minute or two. See ya." I said to him before hanging up. Once I grab my bag under the desk, I head outside, spotting Doug and crazy Alan in the driver's and passanger's seat of a... uh... oh my god... a Mercedes! You gotta be fucking kidding?! A fucking Mercedes convertable?! Damn Doug, how the hell is he driving to Vegas in a Mercedes? Did he steal it?

Both Doug and Alan were smiling at me, roof down, waiting to see my reaction. There laughing as my jaw was hanging down, almost making me drop my bag. I noticed a quite a number of students and teachers checking out the car, about sixty-four students, and twenty-nine checking it out. Like I said, I'm very good with math with my eyes. I decide to show off. Putting my sunglasses on, I rush to the car, jumping over the door and into the seats.

"Hey careful! This car means more to my dad than me!" Said Alan.

I ignore what he just said and look at my right, seeing the shocked expressions on some faces. I decide to have fun with that.

"That's right bitches! I'm heading to Vegas!" I shouted out as the car drives away from the school while I laugh.

Turns out, Sid lended the car to Doug for the weekend, allowing us to drive there in style. I like Sid, and Tracy, their nice people. Sid was like a father to Doug ever since he first met him. When I met Tracy, she was the sweetest, most beautiful woman I ever met. Ever since her, Doug and I started to hang out, she became another best friend of mine, and that's why her and Sid trust me a lot. Doug did say that Sid was okay if I drove the Mercedes, but he wasn't taking any chances. That's fine, I don't wanna wreck a sweet ass car like this.

Stopping at another school was only for a few minutes... the most wierdest minutes of my life, as Alan says: "I shouldn't be here. I'm not supposed to be within a 50-mile radius of this school... or a Chuckie Cheese's."

"What the fuck Alan?" I asked him.

That's when Phil comes out, looking like I did when I left the college, but this time, no kids were looking at the car, nor did Phil jump over the doors, instead he stepped on top of the door, then landed in the car, sitting on my right. Both Alan and Doug protested this, but he ignored them.

"Just shut up and drive... who's this?" He asked pointing towards Alan.

"This is Alan." Said Doug.

"We met like four times, remember?" Alan asked, a bit hurt.

"Oh yeah, how you been?" Said Phil trying to cover himself for his mistake.

Finally we stopped at Stu's house, or should I say the house of hell, containing something that is more evil than my overbearing mother me and my dad left ten years ago. I spot both Stu and Melissa talking, not noticing Phil cupping his hands togather like a megaphone.

"Paging Dr. Faggot!... Dr. FAGGOT!"

We all began to burst into laughter over Phil's joke. That's when Stu comes running out of the house into the car, making Phil sit in the middle, me on the right, and Stu on the left. Once in the car, I shout out: "Vegas!"

"Ryan shut up! Melissa is gonna hear you!" He said, a little scared.

Once on the highway, we just kept cheering about Vegas, mostly Alan. He looked to his left to see a little girl looking at him with an annoyed look. Alan just keeps screaming "Vegas!" towards her... until she flips him off. I laugh at Alan, who sits back down a bit moody about what she did.

Every vehicle comes passing right by us, pissing off me and Phil, wishing Doug could just speed it up a little. I kept quiet at the time, but Phil's right Doug. It's a fucking Mercedes! Lets drive off in style Doug! Finally Phil protest's that he should drive, though both Alan and Doug know that ain't going to happen.

"Come on, just until Barstow. Everybody's passing us!" Said Phil.

"Absolutely not. I promised Sid I'm the only one driving this car. Besides you're drinking." Said Doug. I agree, Phil started drinking an hour ago.

"Oh, what are you a cop now? You know I drive great when I'm drunk." He said.

"True, don't forget, Phil was always our designated drunk driver." Said Stu said in a sarcastic tone.

"You want to explain it to them Alan?" Doug asked.

"Guys, my dad loves this care more than he loves me." Said Alan.

"Come on Alan, that's not true. My dad loves me more than his own life." I said to Alan. I'm a bit shocked that I'm trying to stick up for him, but hey, I think father's love their children very dearly. If I had a kid, I'd love him or her more than my own life.

After a moment of silence, Doug breaks the ice and looks to me in the rear view mirror. "So how's teaching goin kid?" He asked.

_Kid_. That nickname they kept using for two years. It's true, I'm younger than them, but I'm wondering why Alan isn't called a kid, or in fact a child.

"I'm doin alright, giving great lectures in English and History, teaching them the wonders of math, but they don't give a fuck! You know I noticed that they learn in other classes, but don't care for mine. I asked one of my students why he isn't doing much in English, he says I'm not much of a great teacher. I almost hit the asshole for saying that. You know what? I ride fucking Motocross when I get the chance! It's an awsome sport you know. You guys seen me race and win a few right? Still I get no respect from these people." I said.

"At least your giving great lectures." Said Alan.

"Thanks."

"Any girls yet kid?" Phil asked.

"No. It's like they don't belive a 22-year old is a college teacher, and the only people interested are the ones in my classes. Either the hot ones or the fugly ones. In fact I saw one actually have the words 'love you' on her eyelids."

The whole group looks shocked at what I just said.

"Was she hot?" Phil asked.

"Yeah." I answered.

"Then why didn't you go after her?!"

"I don't date or fuck any of my students. It's wrong Phil. Sure I admit it's nice that they like my looks, but it's wrong!"

It's true, my appearence usually teaching is wearing nice jeans, long sleeve shirts rolled up to my elbows, my brown hair with the front sticking up, my small yet noticable beard and mustache, and what girls call a very cute face. They do think I look very cute, but all they want to do is either date me, kiss me, or fuck me. Hell no on all of them.

"Here, let me help you some girl and dating advice." Said Stu.

"No offense Stu, but I'd rather find a girl who won't put me on a leash." I said. He just ignores what I just said.

"Whatever, I had to fight with my wife just to go with you guys this weekend, and left my son with her so I can go to Vegas." Said Phil.

"That's really sweet." Said Alan. I shake my head no at him.

"Dude, I was being sarcastic, I love my son but my life fucking sucks. I hate my life, I may just stay in Vegas forever."

"And here we go." Doug and I said at the same time.

"You know what Doug? You better enjoy your last night cause come Sunday you're going to start dying a little bit each day." Phil said.

"Haha. Yeah, that's why I managed to stay single all this time." Said Alan.

"Really, that's why your single?" I asked. God, what is with Alan?

"Yeah." Alan answered.

"Hey Alan, am I alright over there?" Doug asked.

"Yeah your good." Alan answered.

As Doug pulls onto the right lane, a large semi honks the horn at us, almost making us crash into the large truck. We all screamed as Doug quickly swerved back onto the left lane.

"That was awsome!" Alan cried out.

"That was NOT awsome! What is wrong with you Alan?!" Doug cried out.

I admit, I thought it was scary and funny.

"We almost died!" Stu cried out.

"I think it was awsome." I said.

"So did I." Said Phil.

We stopped at a gas station to fill up on gas. All of us except Alan went inside to get what we needed for the rest of the trip. I saw an old man looking at the Mercedes, only to walk away pissed off, probably by Alan. Once we got our stuff, such as snack foods, drinks, etc. I had only a bag of 'Hot fries' and a Rockstar energy drink.

"He's kinda cute actually." Phil said. "Is he like there all mentally?"

"I think so. He's just an odd guy. You know, kind of weird." Doug answered.

"Should we be worried?" Phil asked again.

"I've been _worried_ about Alan since the first day I met him." I said.

"Tracy said we shouldn't let him gamble, or drink too much." Said Doug.

"Jesus he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit." Said Phil.

"So should you." I said. Phil just gives me a dirty glare.

We putted all of our stuff on the counter, as Stu arrives with a bottle of water. "And one more water." He said putting it down.

"All good with Melissa?" Doug asked.

"Oh yeah." Stu said. "Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it."

"Stu, doens't it bother you that you lie to her about something she won't let you do, yet she can do whatever she wants?" I asked, hoping to talk sense into him.

"Yeah, I do, but trust me, it's not worth the fight."

"Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, yet she fuck a bellhop on a cruise?" Phil asked.

"Hey!" Doug said looking embarrassed.

"Bartender dumbass." I said. Only me and Doug know it was a bartender. The rest think it was something else.

"Exactly, plus, she was wasted, and if you must know, he didn't even come inside her." Stu said defending himself.

"Probably because the guy was grossed out by her." I said.

"Like he said, and you believe that?" Phil asked. "

Yeah, I do, because she grossed out be semen." Stu said.

We looked at the cashier. "That'll be $32.50." The cashier lady said.

"I'm buying." I said getting out my wallet first.

Once we were back in the car, I decided to take a rest, despite the sun was still out. I had a very long day: rocky classes, annoying child-man, Stu and his denial, etc. As I closed my eyelids, all I could hear was something about gambling cheating, then talking about retards. I think Alan would fit that catagorey.


	2. Vegas

**This chapter is much shorter than the first one, but I swear the next chapter will be longer.**

**Now for the disclaimer**

**I don't own the Hangover, just Ryan**

Chapter 2: Vegas.

My eyes woke up after feeling a smack to the head. "Ow! Who did that?" I asked.

"Wake up kid. We're here." Said Phil as my eyes widened from the beautiful lights coming from Vegas. Taking my shades of since it was past dawn, I looked around as we entered the city of lights. We began to cheer as we kept passing all around Vegas, until we reached the Caesars Hotel. This is going to be the best night of my life...

Once inside, I saw a hot looking receptionist standing behind the desk. I checked out the name tag: Lisa. "Welcome to Caesars. Checking in?" She asked.

"Yeah, we have a reservation under Dr. Price." Stu said.

"Okay, let me look it up for you." She said.

"Dr. Price? Stu you're a dentist, don't try to get fancy." Phil said.

"It's not fancy if it's true." Said Stu.

"He's a dentist... don't get excited. And if someone has a heart attack, you should still call 911."

"We'll make sure we do that." Phil said to Lisa.

I lean my elbow on the desk. "What is fancy is you got a 20-year-old college teacher standing in front of ya." I said, hoping to see if she knows what I mean.

"Oh I'm sure you are." She replied with a sarcastic tone. I frown upon her saying that.

My phone vibrates, so I walk away as I pull it out of my pockets, seeing a text from Tracy. Odd. It says:

_Hey Ryan, can you keep an eye on Doug and the others? I love him dearly and I trust him, but I trust you the most to make sure they stay out of trouble._

I smirk at request, so I put down:_Sure thing. I'm happy that you trust me, but come Sunday, all that trust will be for Doug. Glad you guys are finally getting married. See you soon._

Once I finished, I put my phone back, seeing Phil leaning over the counter saying: "Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas available?" He asked her. A villa? That's a pretty awesome room, but it's very expensive.

"Phil, we're not even going to be in the room." Said Stu.

"It's not big deal, we can share beds for one night, just two of us are going to sleep together"

"If we're bunking beds, then I'm sharing it with Phil and Ryan. I'll sleep with Ryan." Said Alan.

I look at him, horrified at what he just said. "No! I'm not sharing rooms, nor I'm not sleeping with a dude! What the fuck Alan? What we twelve?!" I cried out.

"Lisa I apologize, how much is the villa?" Phil asked again.

"Well, we have one villa available and it's $4,200 for the night." She tells us.

"Is it awesome?" Alan asks.

"It's pretty awesome."

"We'll take it. Give her your credit card Stu." Phil said.

"I can't give her my credit card. Melissa checks my statements." Stu tells us.

"Fuck Melissa." I said a bit low so Lisa couldn't hear me. But at that moment, Lisa sort of helps out by saying: "We just need a credit card on file, we won't charge you anything until you check out so you can figure it out then."

"Perfect." Said Doug.

Stu hands her his card reluctantly. He does make a lot of money though, a bit more than I do anyway. I may be a young teacher at a university, but since I'm new, I haven't gotten a raise yet.

"Can I ask you another question?" Alan asked Lisa.

"Another?" I asked myself. I must have missed the first one while texting Tracy.

"You probably get this one a lot, is this the real Caesar's Palace?"

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked.

Alan looks at us as we all had amused looks. "Did Caesar live here?" He finally answered.

"No." Said Lisa. I turn to hide my face from exploding from laughter. Again, something's up with this guy. He's just that special.

Heading towards the villa was slow, but once we got to our door, Phil opened, revealing a large room that looked very luxurious.

"Oh my god! This place is huge!" Doug cried out. "Wow. Look at the view. Thank you guys, or should I say: Thank you Stu!"

"Only because I love you." He said.

We checked out the entire villa, it had like four bedrooms, a huge living room, a bar, a couple of bathrooms, etc. I pick up a jar of nuts next to the bar to eat some, but Stu snatches it, putting it back.

"What the heck Stu?" I asked.

"Don't do that, you see that button on the bottom, once you remove the jar, the light turns on, giving you ten seconds to put it back or else they'll charge you ten extra bucks!" He said.

"Ten bucks extra just to eat some nuts?" I asked.

"Here, it's no big deal, check this out." Phil jumped in on us, grabbing the jar of nuts, then putting a cup of water onto the button, stopping it from lighting. "See. No big deal. Ryan have some nuts." He said.

"Thanks Phil." I said.

"Alright after your done, go get your bag and your new tux out. You got twenty minutes." He told me.

I decided that the guys could have the beds while I slept on the couch. I had no room, but I used the nearest bathroom to go change. Putting a white t-shirt on, I pulled out my black tuxedo the guys bought for me as a gift for the journey. It was very nice, pretty darn good actually. Putting it on along with the black pants and black shoes. With a grey tie and black button up shirt, I checked out myself in the mirror. 'Pretty damn good' I thought. I head into the room where the guys were, except Alan. I saw Phil wearing his tux while laying down in bed, then there was Doug in a usual black and white tux, and Stu... only in his underwear. "Please tell me he's not going like that?" I pleaded with them.

All three looked at me with some nice smiles on their face.

"Damn, first time in a tux and you look pretty damn good kid." Said Doug. I don't know why but I'm blushing.

"Yeah, looks like me ten years ago." Said Phil.

"Oh, sure, everyone wants to be like you Phil." I replied

"Guys, I... have something... to show you..." Said Stu doing poses while saying that. I almost threw up seeing him do that. He pulls out a small box containing a ring. Oh no... that's not what I think it is.

"What the fuck is that?" Phil asked.

"I'm gonna propose to Melissa at the wedding, during the reception." Said Stu.

"Well congratulations Stu." Really Doug? You had to say that?

"See that jewel in the middle, that's the symbol of my grandmother surviving the holocaust." Said Stu.

"Well I think it works" Said Doug.

"What do I think, I think it's a big mistake." Said Phil.

"I agree. Stu you realize that your relationship is all about nothing but her." I said trying to talk some sense into the dumbass. Of course, he doesn't listen.

"Doug listen to me, she's been abusing this man." Phil said to Doug this time.

"And she beats him." I called out. It's true, the last time I saw Melissa, she actually slapped Stu, and he took it like a little bitch.

"Plus she cheated on him by fucking a sailor!" Phil added.

"Hey that's his fiancée." Said Doug.

"And it's a bartender." I finished.

"Hey guys, I'm right here, so I can hear everything you say." Said Stu trying to put his pants on.

"Yeah whatever." I said. Stu just gives me an annoyed look.

"Hey, you guys ready to let the dogs out?" Alan asked, wearing nothing but white pants and a wolf shirt. He looked kinda dumb actually. Plus, his gut was sticking out.

"What?" We all asked.

"You know: _who let the dogs out? Who? Who, who, who?_"

"Who invited this guy?" Phil asked. I asked myself that way before the trip.

Once all five of us were ready, we headed right for the elevator, but we were going up instead of down. While waiting, I noticed Alan had a girlish pose while holding... a purse?

"Your not going to wear that are you?" I asked.

"Wear what?" Alan asked me.

"That purse."

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel, Indiana Jones wears one."

"So does Joy Behar." Said Phil. The elevator doors open, showing a curly fuzz hair man standing up after doing something between the woman's legs.

"Going up?" He asked. We all nodded, pushing the top floor button, sending us straight up.

Once we left Mr. Creepy guy, we headed right towards the door leading outside to the roof.

"This is illegal!" Said Stu.

"Dude, we own a villa for the night, we can do whatever the fuck we want." Said Phil.

We headed to the tallest part of the roof, giving us almost a whole view of the city. Holy crap. I was amazed by the view. Traveled with my three best friends and a wired guy to Vegas, got a villa for the night, checking out the city. How awesome could this night get? I heard something drop as I turn around to see Alan filling up five glasses of alcohol.

"Uh-oh, what do you got there Alan?" Doug asked.

"Jagermister." Alan answered.

"Aw shit." I groaned.

"What? What's the matter?" Stu asked me.

"I really don't drink guys. I'm straight edge."

"Oh come on Ryan, this is your best friend here getting married in two days. We're doing a toast here, and we want you to give out a speech for Doug." Phil said.

"One drink? That's it. Right?" I asked.

"One drink won't ruin your night Ryan. This one drink won't ruin any of our night." Said Doug.

"Alright, what the hell?" I grabbed my drink as Stu says his speech about Doug and Tracy. Once he's finished, it was my turn.

"Doug, you've been my best friend for three years, and you and Tracy are nothing but eternal love. Doug, you found a fine woman, and all I can say is, wow, you're a lucky man Doug, I'm very happy for you, all of us are happy for you, so, come Sunday, will begin a new wonderful chapter to your life." I said.

"Aw. Thank's Ryan." He said.

"Alright I wanna make a toast-"

"I wanna... say something ." Said Alan interrupting Phil, who looked like he was about to kill Alan as he pulled out a note card.

"Hello... how about that ride in, I guess that's why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this but I consider myself to be a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. So my wolf pack grew by one. So there was two... two of us in the pack, first I thought I was alone, then Doug made the two..."

I looked at Doug, who is actually heart warmed by Alan saying Doug filled his 'pack', making Alan not a loner.

"Then Doug brought Ryan over, even though he was ten years younger than me, he was like a pup to the wolfpack..." Okay, that was nice, though I find it wierd being called a pup.

"Then six months ago with Doug I was introduced to you guys and I though, wait a minute, could it be? And now I'm sure I added two more to my wolfpack. Five of us wolves running around the desert, searching for strippers and cocaine. So tonight... I make a toast." Alan pulls out some kind of... blade?! He starts to cut into his hand.

"What the hell?! Jesus Christ! Holy fuck! Make him stop!" We all cried out as Alan says. "Blood brothers."

"Alan we are not going to cut ourselves." Said Doug.

"Give me the knife Alan." I said as he handed me the blade. There was a good cut of blood on it. I set it down after Doug asked if Alan needed a doctor.

Finally Phil got what he wanted to say: "Alright, to a night the five of us will never forget, but always remember." He said as we all tapped our glasses together, and for the first time, I take a drink of alcohol... as my vision begins to fade away, as my mind begins to forget what is going on...

**Though the ending could have been better.**

**If you're wondering, I was inspired by the author Pineapplegoddess. Here story 'Take It Off' and 'Black Hell' are so good. I just had to write my POV story. The only difference is that it's a much younger guy who is best friends with the four, or should I say three.**

**Most of the other stories are just Doug sister and Phil romances. Yes, I understand, every girl want's Bradley Cooper.**

**Me, I just want to be in Vegas looking for Doug... just kidding.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**


	3. What happened?

**I made a point in the last chapter. Many fanfics of the Hangover are nothing but Phil romances and Doug's sister stories. I find that... odd. No offense to all you fangirls.**

**I thought a much younger guy being involved with thirty year old guys would sound more interesting.**

**I don't own the Hangover, just Ryan.**

Chapter 3: What happened?

Waking up was so painful. I felt like my head was about to explode. My back was so sore, and my legs, I can't feel my legs. Getting up very carefully, I looked around to see the ro- HOLY SHIT! What the hell happened to the villa?! It was completely destroyed! There's trash everywhere, beer bottles stacked up, stuff was hanging on the roof, the tv was broken, a chicken was walking around... and a blow up sex doll was right next to me. I looked around for anybody, spotting Stu sitting on the chair that looked like it was burnt and still had smoke emitting from it.

"Stu?" I called out. He was staring into oblivion. "Stu?!" I called out but again he didn't hear me.

Sitting up, I looked around myself, I was wearing my white t-shirt and black tux pants, but not button-up shirt. I heard some crashing noise coming from the bar. I turned to see Alan slowly getting up, heading straight for the bathroom... with only his shirt on, and a small part of his ass sticking out.

Does he know what's going on?

About 20 seconds later, I notice that Alan is rushing out of the bathroom, tripping over Phil, who wakes up holding his ribs, shirtless, and only with his pants on.

"Ow! What the fuck man?! He asked holding his ribs. "Aw man, Alan put some pants on!"

"Phil do not go in there!" Alan cried out. Okay, what the fuck is going on?

"What's going on?" Stu asked.

"There's a tiger in the bathroom!"

"No there's not!" Stu said, even though he looks very oblivious to everything.

"Yes there is! There's a jungle cat in there!"

"What? Jungle cat?" I asked.

"That tiger almost got me!" Alan cried again.

"Relax, Alan, I'll go check it out." Said Phil walking towards the bathroom door. He peaks in... then closes the door with a surprised look and smile on his face. "Whoa! Holy fuck! He's not kidding there's an actual tiger in there!" He said to all of us.

"Jesus..." I said as Phil sits down while putting his blue button up shirt on, saying: "What happened here?" He asked us.

"I don't know... Guys, they have my credit card downstairs." Stu said putting his face in his hands.

"God that cat almost ate me!" Alan cried again with no pants on.

"Hey bro, you mind putting some pants on, I find it wired having to ask you twice." Said Phil.

"Pants at a time like this, I don't have any!" Alan puts a sheet around his waist. Thank god.

"Hey guys?" Stu asked us.

Me and Phil look right at him showing us his teeth. "Am I missing a tooth?" He asked again pointing inside his mouth. Sure enough, the front middle was missing.

"Let me se- OH!" Phil started laughing.

Stu looked very horrified, so he turned to me with a worried face that was asking if Phil was right. I nod while I start to laugh. He picks up a plate, seeing his reflection.

"Oh my God... my lateral incisor... it's gone!"

"Your missing a tooth!" I said slapping my leg, trying to hold in my laughter.

"Alan!" Phil said after he stopped laughing. "Go wake Doug up before housekeeping shows up."

As Alan heads to Doug's room, I call out: "I'm gonna go take a shower." I said heading for the nearest bathroom.

I open the doors and walk right into the room, only to see a tiger in there roaring at me. "OH FUCK!" I shouted as I quickly ran out realizing I forgot about the tiger in there.

Thank God I closed the door.

Phil looks at me with a "what the fuck?" kind of face.

"Sorry guys, I forgot there was a tiger in there. Cut me some slack, I just had my first hangover." I said.

The shower felt nice, getting this nasty stench I had on my body. Once I was out, I began to dry my back... until I felt a sting in the middle under my neck. "OW!" I said quietly, but apparently both Stu and Phil heard it cause they're walking in while I'm naked. "Guys, my back stings." I said putting the towel around my waist, covering my ass and crotch. I turned to face them, but they were silent and stunned. "What?" They pointed to the mirror. I took a look and found out something big and brown with a big face on the middle of my back. "What is that?!" I cried out.

"It's a... it's a..." Stu stuttered, can't seem to finish.

"Oh my god... this a REAL TATTOO! What's on it?! Why the hell do I have a tattoo?! Why can't I remember?!... What does it look like?!" I said calmly on the last part.

"Dude, you're gonna flip out, but it looks a lot like Alan" Said Phil.

This can't be happening. I turn around and look at my back again. Sure enough, Alan's silly looking face, along with his curly hair and beard, and his smile, is on my back. "OH... MY... GOOOOOOOODDDDD!" If the doors to the villa were open, then the entire hotel would have heard my scream... all because I got Alan's goofy face on my back. The guy that annoys me so much is on my back. For what reason?... Alan must never know about this.

"Have you seen Doug?" Stu asked, breaking the tattoo subject.

"No. Why do you ask?" I asked.

"Because he's not in the room." I look at them with shock. I wake up with no memory of what happened last night, the villa is destroyed, Stu has a missing tooth, there's a tiger in the bathroom, and now I have a tattoo of Alan's face on my back. More importantly, Doug is missing.

Putting on a long sleeve dark red shirt, but leaving the sleeves at my elbows and wearing the same pants from last night, I head out to the living room with the guys as Phil tries to call Doug on his cell while Stu looks at the plate again.

"I look like a nerdy hillbilly." He said as I laugh.

A phone rings as Alan finds it next to him. "Hello?"

"Alan." Said Phil. I realized that's Doug's phone.

"Yeah."

"It's me Phil."

"Oh hi Phi- This is Doug's phone."

"No shit." I said.

"WAAAAAHHHH!"

We all froze in horror over the loud cries of a baby. "What the fuck is that?" Stu asked, though we all knew what the answer was. Opening the closest was a baby on a car seat.

"What the hell? Who's baby is that?" I asked.

"Alan, didn't you check every room?" Phil asked.

"Yeah I checked everywhere. Check it's collar." Said Alan.

"It's a human baby, not a dog Alan." I said as Stu comforted the baby.

"Alright guys, let's get out of here, go check out the pool, see if Doug's there. We'll deal with the baby later." Said Phil.

"Phil. We're not leaving a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!" Said Stu.

"Phil...Come on, it's a missing baby, we have to take him, or her with us." I said as I looked at him with a serious tone on my face. We can't really leave a baby in the closet.

"It's not our baby." I reach down and pick the baby up, holding him/her very carefully.

"I'm gonna go with Stu and Ryan on this one Phil." Said Alan.

"Fine. Will you go puts some pants on Alan?" Said Phil.

I sit down with this baby, still holding him in my arms. Looking at the infant in my arms, I realize that the baby is a he. "Hey little guy... it's okay, it's okay." I said to him while he cooes. I look into the baby's eyes, as if I'm staring into a new world. I always wondered what having a child would be like. Their so innocent, so beautiful,... so... incredible. Maybe I should start thinking about being a father one day...

My thoughts are interrupted as Alan walks in.

"Hey Alan, glad you got some pants on." I said to him.

"He's so cute. Can I hold him?" He asked.

"Uh... sure." I was a bit reluctant to give the baby to Alan, knowing what horrors he could do, but as I gave the baby to him, he held him very gently. I look down at the car seat, showing some baby stuff, especially one where you can hold the baby on your chest. Maybe the baby won't be a trouble on the way. And with Alan being so cautious with the little guy, this outta be a good idea.

"Hey Alan, set the baby down, and check this out." I said as he carefully set the child down, while I begin to put the saddle thing on him. Once complete, I set the baby into the saddle.

"Now you can carry the baby all you want without using your arms." "I like that." Said Alan.

We head to the elevator with Alan holding the baby in the saddle. "Why can't we remember a goddamn thing?" Stu asked us.

"Probably because we had a good fucking time." Said Phil.

"I don't know why, but maybe we drank too much, or we knocked ourselves out last night." I put in.

"Could be, since there's a tiger. Or a baby, a fucking baby." Said Stu.

"I don't think you should swear around the child." Said Alan.

"I don't think you should be around a child."

A woman, early 50's, comes in the elevator, first eyeing the baby. "Oh, how sweet, what's his name?" She asked.

"Uh..." I nudged Phil in the arm to help us out.

"...Ben" He said.

"Carlos." Alan said quickly, clearly wanting to name the baby Carlos.

"Carlos..." I said a bit confused.

**There's chapter 3. I know the tattoo thing was done in the Hangover 2, but I thought the whole thing with Ryan not liking Alan would be an irony for him by having his head on his back.**

**Hope you enjoyed this.**


	4. In your pockets and answers

**Another one down, another to go.**

**I wonder if it was a mistake putting this story on the M-Rated articles... people don't go to that section much.**

**I don't own The Hangover. Only my OC's**

Chapter 4: In your pockets and answers

Down by the pool, I sat and watched Alan having fun with the baby by making him looking like he's jerking off.

"Hey Phil, Ryan, watch this." Said Alan while he made "Carlos" look like he was masturbating.

Both me and Phil giggle. Alan may be wierd, but he does have a good sense of humor.

"Whacking his wittle weenies. Not at the table Carlos." He said. All three of us burst into laughter as Stu arrives, still holding a towel to his still bleeding empty tooth hole. "I checked everywhere. restaurant, lobby, not anywhere, there's no sign of Doug." He said.

"Seriously, just calm down. Here have some OJ." Phil said handing him some juice. Upon seeing it, Stu throws up next to my feet. I lift my feet off the ground before the nasty fluid could touch them.

"Fuck man! Watch where your puking!" I said disgusted.

"I can't drink juice right now." He said, hacking up whatever is left.

"Alright guys, let's go over what happened last night, what was the last thing we remembered?" Phil asked.

"All I remember is drinking that stuff last night, after that I blacked out." I said. I began to rethink happened last night... all I could remember was drinking my first alcohol last night. How ironic, one drink did ruin my night.

While that's happening, I hear them saying we all went to dinner, then went to a casino, and the time was about ten, and we woke up somewhere around 6-9 a.m., so we got a ten-hour window to find out what happened last night.

"What's this?" Alan asked, holding up something white.

"Oh my god... THAT I S MY TOOTH!" Stu yelled out. "What else do you have in your pocket?"

"No Stu this a good thing. Come guys check your pockets."

We all reach into our pockets, but all I find in my pockets are... an unopened condom... a few hundred bucks... and a bullet, with a blood stain on it. "What the hell? Is this a bullet?" I asked.

Stu took a look at it very carefully. "It's actually removed, why do you have a bullet with blood on it?" He asked.

"I don't know! I don't remember a fucking thing last night! Seriously guys! We gotta stop asking what happened to each other, since none of know what the fuck happened last night!" I yelled at them putting my hands on my head.

They continue to look while I hold my still throbbing head. I hear Stu say: "I have an atm receipt from the Bellagio, 11.5 for $800's! I am so fucked!"

Then Alan says: "Got a velvet receipt, looks like we got in at five."

"Oh shit, we drove last night?" Phil asked.

"Ha! Driving drunk last night Phil?" Alan asked with a laugh.

Stu does a fake laugh, not finding this situation amusing what-so-ever.

..."Hey Ryan, what's up with your arm?" Alan asked me.

"What?" I look at my left arm, noticing a blood a light red blood stain. I lift the sleeve up to my shoulder where I find some stitches... and their popped... and suddenly its starting to hurt"What happened to my arm?" I asked myself, before holding the bullet with my eyes widening. "Dude, I got shot!" I cried out. What is going on? Why do I have a bullet wound on my arm?

"Ryan, calm the fuck down man. Okay? Look, we'll figure it out later. Doug's more important right now." Said Phil.

"Phil. I. GOT. SHOT! Do you understand that?!"

"Your still alive kid. That's a good thing right?"

Then I notice something on Phil's wrist. "Phil, what's on your wrist?" I asked him.

Phil checks his wrist, finding what appears to be a hospital band. "What the fuck?" He muttered.

"Shit, Phil, you were in the hospital!" Stu exclaimed.

"Are you okay?" Alan asked.

"Yeah Alan, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Phil replied with sarcasm.

"What is going on?" I asked them all.

"No, Ryan this okay, we got a lead. All we got to do is go the hospital, and we'll get some answers." Said Phil, reassuring me.

"Hey Stu, watch this." Said Alan, making "Carlos" look like he's jerking off again. Stu laughs a little, but stops.

"Alan, not cool."

We headed out to the front of the hotel, waiting for the Mercedes. I'm a bit frustrated by this whole thing going on. We gotta figure out where Doug is, and on the way I can figure out how I got Alan's face on my back and how I got a bullet wound. I twist my head around to make my neck feel a bit better, only to catch something interesting. "Uh, guys... look." I said to them, looking up at what I saw.

It was a mattress impaled on the Caesar's statue. "Is that a bed?" I asked them.

"I think so. I think it's Doug's." Said Phil.

"Doug's? Did his mattress go missing?" I asked again. The three nod yes. Seriously, what did we do last night?

I spot a guy working with construction trying to get the mattress off.

"Hey." I said to the guy. "What happened?"

"Some idiot threw his mattress out the window for no reason. Must have been partying too much. Looks like some guys just can't handle Vegas." He said to me before going back to work.

'Some guys can't handle Vegas.' It's true.

"Guys, I don't think Doug would want us to take my dad's car." Said Alan.

"Alan, don't worry about it, maybe he's lost out there and he wants us to find him." Phil said as a cop car drives right in front of us. The driver comes out and tosses us the keys.

"Here's you car officers." He said tapping the hood before walking off.

This is getting really weird. Why is there a police car right in front of us instead of the Mercedes?

"Alright, let's play through this guys. Ryan here." Phil said tossing me the keys.

"What?" I asked catching them.

"Look, if we get into trouble, then we can explain that you're a teenager that got too wild last night." Phil explained.

How the fuck is that going to work? I'm in my early twenties. I may look very young but it won't convince anyone that I'm a teen. Then again, we have to find Doug. So with no other choice, "Fine... just get in." I said. Once me and Phil are in the car, I start it up, only to hear the baby start crying.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I just nailed the baby with the door!" Said Stu.

"Is my glasses okay?" Alan asked, not concerned about the baby.

"Your glasses are fine dick!" Said Stu." Once there in the car, Stu calms the baby down before they all buckle in. I put the stick into drive and head off into the streets.

But we didn't get that far, cause a long line of traffic hits us. We're on the right, and there's no car moving.

"Come on!" I called out as I honked the horn.

"This is so illegal." Said Stu.

"Shut up Stu." I said.

"Can't you see the fun in this?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, we're in a stolen cop car with a missing child, what's so fun about that?" Stu said with sarcasm.

"I think the cop car is cool." Said Alan.

"Thanks Alan." I said. "Oh what the hell COME ON!" I shouted while honking the horn again.

Wait a minute, this is a cop car... and turning on the lights and sirens... that gives me an idea. "Hold on guys." I said, looking around, finding the switch to turn on the police lights. Once there on, I turn the car onto the sidewalk so I can drive down.

"What are you doing?! Stop Ryan! Don't do this!" Stu whined as I drove down the sidewalk, grabbing the walky talky to speak to the people on the sidewalk.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please move aside. This is an emergency." I called out to them.

People moved very quickly, some jumping back in fear as they exit or enter buildings. Phil and Alan are just laughing in delight over what I'm doing, while Stu is crying to get out. I spot a woman wearing a leopard dress, with an amazing clevelage, about to walk past the car. She was one sexy hot mama I would have loved to play motorboat with her. I grab the speaker again and say: "Ma'am with the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack!" I called out as she smiled at me.

Again Phil and Alan laugh a bit more. "Nice one Ryan!" Said Phil giving me a high-five.

"I should have been a fucking cop!" I said to them.

At the hospital, all four of us and the baby walked in as a woman sitting by a checkout desk looks at us in surprise. "Oh, no, it's you four again! What are you doing here?" She asked us.

The four of us look a bit shocked about her reaction. Did we do something wrong?

"I think I can help." We turn to the left to see a tall doctor walking towards us with a dissatisfied look on his face. "What are you guys here for?" He asked us.

"Uh, we have no idea doc, apparently Phil here has a hospital band on his wrist and we're trying to find out what the fuck is going." I said.

"Watch your mouth, this is a hospital. And right now, I got an appointment with Felix, but you can walk with me so I can tell you about last night."

"You know what happened to us last night?" Stu asked in surprise.

"Only when you guys arrived before my shift ended."

"You treated us?" I asked him as I showed him my popped stitches.

"Yes I did, and I'm gonna have to re-stitch you if you want your arm to heal." The doctor said as he turns to the woman at the desk. "Get me the paperwork on these fella's from last night. Pronto."

The woman started working on the computer as the doctor motioned us to follow him. Eventually, after a ride up the elevator, we entered a room where his patient Felix was. He looked like he was eighty and looked very unhealthy.

After stitching my arm, and treating Felix, the doctor finally revealed what happened.

"Look, you guys came in with some minor bruises, gunshot wound, and concussion's. Only for you and you." He said pointing to me and Phil while he was checking the inside of the old man's mouth.

"Was Doug with us last night?" I asked.

"Yeah, the short guy, he was here with you when you arrived, and left once you checked out." Once he's finished looking in the mouth, he lifts Felix off the bed and pulls down his underpants. We all turn around, except for Alan, who is oddly staring at it.

"Alan..." I whisper to him as he looks up at me. "Cover the baby's eyes!" I said through my teeth. He covers "Carlos" eyes but keeps staring into the butt. Once the old guy has the underwear back on, he lays back down on his bed as the doctor says he'll see him after the weekend. I hope he does.

"Like I said, nothing serious." He said to all of us. I walk up to him as he washes his hands.

"Come one doc, there's gotta be a bit more you can tell us." I said to him holding a hundred buck at his face.

"Put it in, I don't wanna re-sterlize. Walk with me." He said while I put the dollar in his pocket as the rest got up and walked with him in the hallways.

"Okay. Paitents: Phil Wennick and Ryan Leikness. Phil, minor bruising, minor concussion. Ryan, gunshot wound, minor bruise. Your lucky Mr. Lone Wolf, you got shot directly in the arm, but it didn't hit an artery, or nothing major, so you'll be okay." He said to me.

"Lone Wolf?" I asked him.

"I guess you haven't noticed yet."

"You know what, let me see that, I'm a doctor." Said Stu as he tried to take the folder, but the _real _doctor held it away from him.

"Yeah, you were rambling about that all night, when really, your just a dentist." I held in a laugh as the doctor reveals a bombshell. "Hmm, interesting, your guys blood work came in this morning, reveals you've been drugged with rohypnol."

"What?" Both me and Phil asked at the same time.

"Rohypnol, roofies, commonly known as the date rape drug." He told us.

"What are you saying I was raped last night?" Phil asked. The doctor looks in the folder again, making Phil look a little nervous. Wait a minute? Was I raped too last night?

"No. But someone did drug you for some reason. No wonder why you can't remember." He said.

Alan just laughs as we glare at him. "Doc, none of us can remember anything last night!" He said proudly. I smack him on the head in frustration. "Ow!"

"How could someone drug us all?" Stu asked focusing back on the topic.

"Look guys, don't worry about it. The stuff is out of your system now."

"Is there anything else, something we mentioned?" I asked him.

"Actually yeah, you guys kept talking about a wedding." He said. "Yeah, no shit, our buddy Doug is getting married tomorrow. You know what, I want my hundred back." I said reaching to get my money back, but he slaps my hand away.

"No, you said you just came from a wedding. That's what you were talking about." He said.

"Where was this at?" Phil asked.

"The Best Little Chapel."

"Okay, where is that located?"

"It's on a corner of get a map and fuck off..." We give him a dirty look.

"I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Your grown men." He said walking off.

Best Little Chapel... what were we doing at a wedding?

**Again, I wonder if I should put this in a different rating category, cause people only go onto M-rated for... well... you know... I can't really say.**

**So Ryan got shot. Kind of lazy on the idea, but it was the only thing I could think of.**

**But I think i'll find something more interesting later.**


	5. The Chapel and Baby Goats

**Sorry for the long wait. My job has taken time away and lately couldn't work on this or non-related stories like Sonic and Mason and Operation Mercenaries. But anyways. Had to delete another non-related story so I could work on three stories only. Takes the weight off my back.**

**So here's another chapter of The Getaway trip. And while I work on the next chapter, I'll try to see The Hangover part 3 soon.**

**I don't own the Hangover, but I do own Ryan.**

**Chapter 5: The Chapel and Baby Goat's.**

Finding the chapel was easy, we just hope we can find some help in there. We got out of the car, this time we were leaving the baby inside the car for his own protection.

"Dude, you just can't leave the baby in the car!" Stu shouted at me.

"Stu, we're gonna be gone for like five minutes, it's fine, I left the window cracked for him." I said as we entered the chapel. "What if they don't remember us?" I asked them.

"Excuse us." Phil said to a bearded man. He turns around and looks very surprised.

"Look at these guys!" He said to us. "What happened? You missed Eddie? You want more from me?" Surprisingly, he begins to smile and hug us all. "How are you my friends? Look at this guy, your fucking crazy. Listen, I'm gonna tell you something, I know some sick people in my life, but this is the most wildest man I ever met." He said pointing to Stu.

"This guy?" Phil asked. I asked myself that. Stu happens to be the most whiniest, annoying pussy I've ever met. How the fuck can he be the most wildest dude on the planet?

"Yeah, but not as the most craziest, wildest bastard right here." He pointed at me now... wait what? "What? What did I do?" I asked Eddie.

"What did you do? You sick bastard, you know... You're the "Lone Wolf!" Remember?!"

"Okay first the doctor and now you are calling me that." He just laughs and hugs us all again, but is upset that we're not hugging him.

"What happened, no love for Eddie?" He asked us.

"It's not that Eddie. We're having a hard time remembering what happened last night." Said Phil.

"Do you do weddings here?" Alan asked.

"Of course he does Alan." I said back to him a little harshly.

"You are cracking my balls man." Eddie laughed. He turned and called out for someone. A hot looking Italian, or Spanish, or whatever foreign she is, though she is hot, came out here whinnying a little.

"What are you doing! I've waited all day for you! Go get some coffee or something for my friends here! GO!" He shouted at her as she went back. "Can't believe those online dating sites friends. Nice body and no brains." Eddie complained.

"Okay guys, obviously we were here. Eddie, we're looking for our friend Doug." Said Phil.

"Do you remember?" Stu asked.

"Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey." Eddie told us.

"You saw him?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night?" Stu asked again.

"...You don't remember nothing?" We all shook our heads no.

"Eddie, someone drugged us last night with roofies. We're sorry." I said.

"Don't worry my friends, I'll help you." He said with some sadness in his voice, while he walks back to get some stuff. I can't help but feel sorry for him. He seems to like us a lot.

* * *

At least we know Doug was with us around after midnight.

Soon enough, Eddie and his hot girlfriend came back with a big book, which I believe as a picture book as he set it down right in front of us.

"I guess the answers are in here." I said to the guys as I opened it. Inside the book were two people at a wedding that apparently happened last night: What caught my eye was Stu holding hands with a beautiful blonde, with a special ring on each of their fingers.

"GAH!" Stu cried out.

"Congratulations Stu, you got married!" Said Alan.

"This... this can't be happening!" Said Stu. I flip more pages as it shows Stu and the blonde having some fun. One showed her accidentally kicking Stu in the face. Another showed Stu grabbing her breast.

"Oh god." Stu moaned.

"I'll tell you one thing, you look seriously happy here, man." Said Phil. It's true, it would be a hundred times better than Melissa.

"That's it my life is over." Said Stu.

"Stu, It's okay, look this kinda shit happens. No one's gonna know about this. Not even Melissa." What the hell was I saying. I cringe every time when I say that bitches name. Eddie comes out with a few more boxes.

"What's all this?" Alan asked.

"The high roller package. It's what your ordered. Coffee mugs, baseball caps, and fancy calendars, all with pictures of Stu and Jade." He said.

"Her name's Jade?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, very beautiful man. Very hot tits and all because she had a baby."

"That explains the baby guys." I said.

"Oh, Carlos, Carlos." Said Alan.

Then Phil butts in saying, "Look Eddie, we made a mistake last night, we need this marriage annulled. Do you do annulment?"

"Of course I do, it breaks my heart and gonna make me said... no problem no. I can't do it with him though, I need the chick, I need both parties." Said Eddie.

"See, no problem Stu. We'll go over to where she lives, maybe she knows where Doug is."

"Okay." Stu said very quietly.

"Hey Eddie?" I asked him. "Everyone calling me the "Lone Wolf". Why is that?"

"You haven't seen Youtube?" I shake my head no. "My friends, bear with me, check out the most craziest motherfucker I've ever seen." He said as he went online to Youtube. Showing us the screen, this is what he showed us. A newswoman was standing outside late last night, talking about the night there in Vegas...

_ "__It's been a quiet night here in the city of lights, but standing behind me are people having a fun and wild night here in Vegas. On my right is a group of people coming out of the casino, and happen to be very lucky winner-"_

Suddenly she's interrupted by a naked man jumping in front of the camera. To my horror, that person standing in front of the camera showing off his censored dick...

...was me.

"_Whoa! Did somebody say quiet, yet fun and wild?!"_ I asked as I look down at my privates before shouting out: _"To all of my students who think I'm so boring and not cool, I'm Ryan Leikness... But now, since I'm a hardcore one man army badass, you can call me the lone wolf BABY! Ha!" _I cried out doing a pose before I started laughing and streaking into the darkness, showing off my tattoo and censored butt, as two cops were chasing me while the whole city watches either laughing, embarrassed, or stunned at my actions.

"Um..." Phil tried to say something for me, but couldn't find the words.

"Ryan I'm... sorry." Stu said but like Phil, he couldn't speak for me either.

"You got a tattoo of me Ryan?" Alan asked.

* * *

I walked back to the police car, horrified about what I did last night. So that's why I'm called the Lone Wolf... I streaked naked last night, chased by two cops. How the hell did this happen? I get into the car as Phil and Stu were arguing about what to do with this car and the stuff inside the trunk. Apparently, Stu wants to burn the items and cop car, even though that will not erase any evidence of last night. I just got on YouTube naked. How the fuck can that be erased?

Alan gets into the car next to the baby in the back, while I stare out the window with a blank expression on my face.

"Hey Ryan? Are you okay?" He asked me.

"No Alan, I was caught on video last night streaking in public with two cops chasing me while I was drunk!" I said to him. He started to giggle.

"Alan this not funny! People are gonna know about this, I'm gonna lose my job! People are going to humiliate me! I may never teach again!" I yelled back at him, causing the baby to whimper.

"Now look what you did!" Said Alan trying to calm "Carlos" Down.

"Alan, I'm sorry, I'm just scared right now cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

"It's okay, just don't do that in front of the baby again."

"Agreed." Did I just apologize to him? What is going on with me?

Then Phil and Stu hop into the car, with Stu on the phone. "Who's he talking to?" I asked.

"Melissa." Said Phil.

"Fuck!" I said while Alan was again playing with the baby.

"Be so cool if I could breastfeed." Said Alan.

Both me and Phil glare at him with disgusted looks.

"So we're about to go for a tractor ride." Stu said on the phone.

"What the fuck?" I asked not at Stu's words, but a car parked right behind us. Two Asian looking guys dressed in black come out with bats and headed towards us.

"Get out of the car!" One said. "Where the hell is he?!" The other asked.

"They started up the tractor. I think it backfired." Said Stu.

"Hey, easy, easy! I think we're looking for the same guy, okay?" Phil said to the gangsters, hoping they'd know what he's talking about. They strike the bat onto the windshield, causing the baby to cry.

"Why would there be a baby? We're at a winery, that's a goat!" Said Stu again lying to Melissa.

"Oh cut the shit Stu!" I said to him.

Another strike, this time on the door. "Where is he?!" The gangster asked.

"I don't know, what are you talking about?!" Phil cried out.

"Sir, could you please start the tractor so we can get out of here?" Stu asked me calmly.

"I'M TRYING TO BUT WE'RE FUCKING BLOCKED!" I yelled back at him.

Another strike on the window, the baby cries even louder. "HEY! There's a baby on board!" Alan yelled out, trying to help the situation.

"It's a baby goat!" Stu yelled.

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE STU SHUT UP!" I screamed at him before I looked back out the cracked window to see Eddie coming out with a crowbar.

"Why are you making trouble for my business, man? Go away from here!" He said to the gangsters.

One of the gangsters pulls out a gun and points it at me.

"Get out of the car." He said.

"Holy shit!" I cried.

"Ryan, he's got a gun!" Alan cried out.

"NO SHIT HE'S GOT A GUN!" I yelled as I shift the car into drive, causing me to run over the man holding the gun's foot. He fired the gun in a different direction... causing the bullet to hit Eddie in the shoulder.

I froze at what I've done.

"Fuck! Shit!" Phil cried out.

"He shot Eddie!" Stu cried out.

"Ryan! Go! Go!" Phil snapped me out of my trance as I put the lever in reverse, hit the gas, slamming the back of the car into the gangsters car, sending us out into the road. I shifted it into drive and slammed on the pedal again, speeding up as we got the hell out of there.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. We're okay." Said Phil.

"Except Eddie. I got him shot... okay, that was some sick shit." I said. The baby still cries until Stu calms him down.

"We're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be Alright." The baby calms down as Stu cries out: "What the fuck is going on?!"

"I don't know." I answered.

His phone rings again. He gave us a dissatisfied look on his face. Obviously it was Melissa, since she never stops trying to call him after he hangs up on her.

"Why don't you let that one go to voicemail?" Phil asked.

"Ha-ha-ha!" Stu laughed with sarcasm. "That's a fake laugh by the way!"

**I don't know if I put enough effort into this one. But at least I got this one-off my shoulders for a while.**

**And yes, I got the whole drunk naked in public from How I met your Mother. I was intending to use the Beercules name, but I think that would have been an issue. So I thought the Lone Wolf thing could be used will for Ryan.**

**I don't know why, but I'm gonna say I'm sorry for the long wait and sorry if I didn't put enough effort into the chapter.**

**Anyways, see you guys again soon!**


	6. You shot me?

**I'm back again, and I'm very surprised by the people who favored or followed this story. I thank you all for that. Your just too kind and have hearts.**

**So, heres chapter 6**

**I don't own any Hangover, just Ryan.**

**Chapter 6: You shot me?**

It took me a while to get over the fact that I got Eddie shot... but I just hope he's alright. I can only guess he might be pissed off at us for what we did.

So we found the apartment where this Jade chick was at. All I could hope is that she's there so we can return the baby and get some answers, cause frankly, I'm getting very worried and very scared for Doug. We woke up with no memory of last night, I got shot in the arm somehow, Stu got married by a hot mother, and now we got attacked by gangster looking guys. More importantly, I ran around naked in public. Now I really want to get the hell out of this place so bad.

As we walked up the second floor balcony to the apartment, Alan just started to talk about something unrelated to our mission.

"It's got Ted Danson,and Magnum P.I. And that Jewish actor in it, and-" But we quickly cut him off.

"Shut up Alan!" We said at the same time.

"What room was it again?" Phil asked.

"825 I think" Stu answered.

Suddenly, a hot looking blonde wearing short-shorts, a revealing white shirt I couldn't tell what it was, walked out of her apartment holding a cell-phone. She quickly noticed us and was very surprised to see us. She told the person on the other line she'll call back and rushed up to us.

"Thank goodness he was with his father!" She said picking up the child from the baby cargo vest.

I suddenly felt the urge to laugh, but I held it in. She just called Stu the baby's father.

"I was freaking out. I missed you sweetie..." She said to her son, then looked at Stu. "And I missed you..." Then out of nowhere, she shoves her mouth and tongue into Stu's... who I swear to God I heard him actually enjoying the kiss... which was right in front of us. It really felt awkward.

Once she releases him, he actually tried to say "NO!", but the lip smack of the kiss somewhat silenced him.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" She asked us while giggling.

"Actually, we were hoping you could tell us." Phil said.

"What do you mean? I got up this morning, I went to get coffee... and I came back and you were gone..." So this whole time she was actually looking for us... no wonder why she was worried about her child, cause we took him before she had the chance to take him back. At least she shows she loves her child, unlike my mother... but then I realized that we were just looking at her. She quickly added: "Why are you being so quiet?" She asked us again.

"I'm not being quiet." Stu said.

"Yes you are." I said.

"Oh jeez Ryan you're so funny when your like that. Come on in guys I gotta feed Tyler."

Stu entered first, but before we could enter, Alan quickly added: "Hear that? His name is Tyler..." He said a little disappointed.

"I know. I kinda thought he looked more like a Carlos too..." Said Phil. Then the urge to laugh again came back, and this time I let it out, surprising the two in front of me.

"I'm sorry, I actually had an idiot brother named Tyler, and I always thought he was adopted into my family..." I said.

They only gave me confused looks.

"Never mind, it's a long story." I said before we walked in.

* * *

As we sat on the couch, she poured some alcohol into some cups for the guys, but all I wanted was either water or lemonade, which she choose the latter and poured some in. Once she was finished, she looked at us with a surprised look on her face. "Okay, what's up? You guys are acting weird." She said.

"Look, it's Jade, right?" Phil asked.

"Very funny Phil." She replied as she walked over with the tray of our drinks.

"Right, Jade, you remember our friend Doug?"

"Are you kidding, he was the best man."

"Exactly. We can't find him, and we're getting worried." I said.

"Oh my God that is so Doug." She said before I noticed Stu with wide-eyes, then accidentally spits some of his drink onto her and Tyler.

"Oh. Oh, sweetie, I'm... I'm gonna go clean him off." Jade said before she went off to the bathroom. I quickly swatted my hand on the back of Stu's head.

"What the fuck man? You gotta hold it together!" Phil warned him. "She's super hot, you should be proud!"

"She's wearing my grandmother's ring!" Stu said without looking at us.

"What?" I asked.

"The ring I was gonna give to Melissa! Remember? My grandmother's Holocaust ring? She's wearing it!"

"Shit..." I muttered.

"I didn't know they gave out rings in the Holocaust." Said Alan. I quickly slapped the back of his head.

Jade returned with Tyler in her arms, both dry and cleaned. "It's okay, he's fine." She said sitting down on her chair.

"Oh thank God, I'm so sorry." Said Stu.

"It's okay, he's just hungry." Then unexpectedly, she pulls down her shirt and begins to breastfeed Tyler... uh... again, awkward... does she even know she's in a room filled with guys? Stu was just stunned by what he saw. Phil was a bit amazed. Me on the other hand, though surprised and amazed, I was disgusted and looked away. Alan didn't even notice. Does she have any manners?

"Anyways, I haven't seen him since the wedding, which I think was around 1, because I had to go back to work and finish my shift. Then when I got out, I headed over to the hotel with Tyler." Jade continued.

"And was Doug there then?" Phil asked.

"I didn't see Doug cause you guys were passed out. The room was a wreck... so I curled up next to Stu."

"Oh." I grinned looking at Stu, nudging him in the shoulder. He just gives me a quick glare then raises his hand.

"I got a question. Um, you said when your shift ended, does that mean you're a nurse? Or a blackjack dealer?" Stu asked.

"You know this. I'm a stripper." Jade answered.

OH SHIT! I remember Stu telling me before last night about Melissa telling him how a stripper is someone's daughter. How ironic for Stu to suddenly end up marrying a stripper.

All he could do was plant his head in his face.

"Well, technically, I'm an escort... but stripping's a great way to meet the clients." Said Jade.

"Smart." Alan said before I slap him in the head again.

"But that's all in the past, now that I married a doctor."

I quickly chuckled as Jade's words, causing all of them to give me yet another confused look. "I'm sorry, he's not a doctor, he's just a dentist." I said.

**'CRASH!'**

All of a sudden, two police officers, one male, the other an African female, both looking a bit overweight, burst into the apartment, pointing their guns at us.

"Las Vegas Police! Freeze!" The male shouted out, causing Tyler to start crying. "Shut the baby up! Shut the baby up!"

Jade covered Tyler's ears as we raised our hands in fear. Phil and Stu cried out to them to not shoot us or anything.

* * *

All I could guess is that their after the police car...and arresting us for possibly stealing it.

Once they set us by the car, I felt a hand grab the back of my head and slam me face first into the trunk.

"Hey Frederick! Take a look at this!" The woman cop who was holding me called to the male cop who I could assume his name was Frederick... but what were they looking at me for?

"Well, well... if it isn't the "Lone Wolf." Fredrick said as he put handcuffs around my wrists... a bit too tightly... wait a minute... they called me the "Lone Wolf"... were they the same cops who chased me last night on the video Eddie showed us?

"Finally, after chasing your naked ass all over Vegas we finally got you "Wolfy." Fredrick continued as he taunted me. "I thought we'd never catch you after all the shit you pulled last night. We pulled everything and now we finally have you."

Pulled everything?... then it just hit me... these guys were the ones who shot me. "You did it didn't you? You're the one's who shot me last night!" I called out.

"You have the right to remain silent Mr. Loner." The female cop said as he took me and threw me into the back of the car along with the trio, but before I could get my feet in, she slams the door close to my ankles!

"OW! Watch it!" I screamed as she opened the door and said:

"Oops. My bad." Then she started to laugh hysterically. What the fuck are these cops problems?

As they drove us to the station, I again asked them to tell me if they were the one's who fired at me, which they were silent until I kept asking them again and again. Finally they answered and said they tried to pull out all the stops, but failed.

They tried shooting at me, which was illegal cause I was never a threat to them or the public.

Later as neared the police station, I tried to explain it to them about our situation, that two gangsters tried to assault us, even pulling a gun out and shooting someone, but they refused to listen. But they refused to believe all of us. Instead they keep gloating about how they caught "The Lone Wolf", and how they may get a reward or promotion...

Assholes.

**Okay this chapter was short, I admit, but it served its purpose at least.**

**Next chapter I promise it will be longer than this one and be like the other ones. I swear I never break promises.**

**So hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. Review or criticize me. Your choice.**


	7. Painful Confessions

**So while the last chapter was short, I think this one is a little bit of redemption, since it will be much longer. So hopefully you like this one more than the last one.**

**Once again, I own Ryan, not The Hangover series.**

Chapter 7: Painful Confessions.

At the station, I watched as Phil puts in a few coins in to make a phone call. I prayed and hoped that he wasn't calling Tracy.

All four of us were cuffed in a weird order, as a different cop comes by with some kids, probably on a field trip. He was telling that after the mug shots, they take us down here to be interviewed, and telling them not to end up like us, because they call this place, "Loserville".

A fat kid walks up to me and Alan with his cellphone (why do kids have cellphones? Their too young to have them!) to take a picture of Alan... who kicks the phone away, breaking it.

"Alan!" I yelled out.

The kid just gave Alan a goofy evil retarded look.

"Hey kid, I'm sorry, he didn't mean that. I promise you he'll buy you a new one." I offered.

But he looks at me with the same evil look. I just cringe at the creepy stupid look he's giving me.

"Hey, Ryan, come here." Said Phil. Thank God I got to get away from the fat kid. I stood up and walked over to the phone booth as he puts the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked. I turned and looked to see the fat kid still staring at me. Once again I cringed.

"_Hey Ryan. It's me Tracy."_

Fuck! Phil was calling Tracy. I told him NOT TO! Goddammit he never listens! With no other choice, I had to speak to her. "Hey Tracy, how's everything goin?" I replied.

"_Oh its good, I'm just getting some sun, how'd the bachelor party go?"_

"Went great, had my first alcohol, didn't ruin my night though. Have you heard anything from Doug?" Please say yes. Please say yes...

"_No actually, why are you asking?"_

Dammit... "Because... we agreed that he wouldn't have a fiancée's talk to his slash she fiancée sort of thing. You know, not spoil or reveal anything before the wedding."

"_Oh, okay."_ I hear Phil whisper into my ear: "Tell her we'll be there tomorrow." I whisper to him "WHAT?!" very quietly. He just motions me to tell her a lie... something a haven't done in a long time. I barely lie to people. It's just wrong...

But then again, we needed more time to find Doug.

"Hey Tracy, listen, we got some cool news, we got called by the hotel to stay another night for free." I said.

"_But Ryan... the wedding's tomorrow." _

"I know that, but don't worry. I'll make sure we get up very early and we get back in California before it starts in a few hours."

"_Ryan, are sure you guys know what you're doing? After all, I trust you.." _

"I know. But you know me. I never break a promise." At that moment, Officer Frederick, the ass cop that arrested us, calls us down.

"Tracy, look I gotta go, Alan's acting weird again, so I'll call you later and see you tomorrow. Gotta go, bye."

After I hung up, all four of us struggled to get us straight forward with the cuffs. We twisted Alan around, but it only creates more trouble. So we have Alan and Stu step over the cuffs... and only for me, Phil, and Stu to get it right while Alan is dragged by us.

* * *

Inside the interrogation room, Fredrick and the woman cop (who's name I could never figure out) sit down. "Gentlemen, we got good news and bad news. Good news is we found your Mercedes." He said.

"Oh that's great news." Said Phil nudging Alan, giving him hope about the car.

"Yeah, that is good news. We found it parked in the middle of the road." Frederick interrupted. "With a note that says: "Couldn't find the meter, but here's four bucks." He tosses us a napkin that says the words he just said. "Bad news , we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday."

"Sir, that's impossible, we have to be at a wedding tomorrow." Said Phil.

"You stole a police car. And you ran around naked in public!" Said the woman cop pointing at me.

"We didn't steal it, we found it." Stu said trying to help me out by changing the subject.

"I see asshole's like you everyday." Said Frederick. "Every fucking day." The woman said as they begin to act like idiots, trying to show us what asshole's are like at Vegas, but their only making fools of themselves... until Phil jumps in.

"Uh, look, officers, I believe the car was yours, right?" He asked.

"Yeah..." Frederick replied coldly.

"Look, I'm no cop... I'm no hero... I'm a school teacher... and so is my friend here... and if one of our students got lost, that would make us look bad."

"Where are you getting at Mr. Wennick?" Frederick asked.

"Yeah Phil? Where are you getting at?" Stu asked.

"Look, no one needs to know your car got stolen by idiots, or you couldn't catch Wolfy here last night, and we got to get to a wedding. What I'm trying to say is... maybe we can work something out." Phil answered.

After a moment, the woman cop slides a file to Fredrick, who begins to laugh. This doesn't look good, but Phil and Stu are laughing with them, so I guess their trying to play along. Fredrick asks, "Let me ask you one question? Do you guys have a heart condition, or something?" We all shook our heads no.

Big mistake on our part...

* * *

Led into a room full of the kids on a field trip, we stand next to a table before a kid cries out: "Look! It's the "Lone Wolf!"

Aw shit... I put my face in my hands as the kids begin doing my poses from last night.

Great, I'm a celebrity and a bad influence to children now.

"Yes kids, It's the "Lone Wolf", here to show you what happens if you run around naked in public." Said Frederick. "Okay kids, we got a very special treat for ya. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate, how a stun gun is used." The kids go "Ooooh."

"Wait, what?" I look at the three in shock as the cop continues.

"While Mr. Loner wolfy here, has volunteered, how both a stun gun and pepper spray is used."

Oh shit. That's gonna hurt... a lot... and the fact that I'm going to suffer much more than the other guys.

Fredrick walks up next to Stu. "First, you can do it at close range." He said putting the stun gun on Stu's neck, then zaps him.

Stu screams like a girl from the shock, onto the floor. The cops and kids laugh as Stu squirms all over the floor.

"Okay, who wants to come up here and do some shooting?" The kids suddenly raise their hands in excitement. What the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

An Asian girl gets picked by Frederick. "Okay handsome your next." He said. Alan steps forward, only to be pushed back. "Not you fat Jesus. Slide it on back. You, pretty boy." He said to Phil.

"What, me?" He asked.

Phil walked up as Frederick encourages the girl to fire at him, but Phil counters back by trying to convince her not to. "Listen, you don't wanna do this." He said calmly to her.

"You can do this. Just stay focused." Fredrick said trying to get her to shoot Phil.

"Don't listen to this maniac, lets just think this through."

"FINISH HIM!"

The girl fires the gun, striking Phil in the nuts.

"OOH!" I cried out as I held my nuts while Phil violently shakes down to the ground holding his nuts.

"Right in the nuts! That's beautiful!" Fredrick said as everyone else laughed and clapped... including Alan.

"Alan!" I shouted out.

"Alright we got two more charges, who want's to do some shooting? How about you big guy, come on up."

Oh crap... that's the same kid who's cellphone Alan broke earlier. He walks up while giving Alan the same angry retarded look from earlier.

Surprisingly, Alan did the same creepy stare-thing, as the kid got a hold of the stun gun.

I didn't hear what the cops were saying as I watched the kid aim the gun at Alan... and fires into his face!

"GAH!" I cried out as Alan still remains standing.

"In the face! IN THE FACE!" The male cop laughed as Alan started to walk to the kid, who is looking very frightened. The kids start to scream as Alan is about to grab the kid, possibly electrocuting him as well, until Frederick zaps Alan with his own stun gun, this time knocking Alan out onto the table.

The cops are still laughing at my three friends on the ground while the kids are still a bit shocked by Alan's move.

"All right everybody relax, take it easy. Sometimes you need to give two extra charges to these big boys here." Fredrick said while patting the unconscious Alan.

"Bastards... you think this is funny?! This is police brutality!" I cried out. "You scared the kids half to death after making the fat one shoot Alan!"

"Who wants to shoot "Mr. Wolfy" here?" The woman cop ignored my comeback at them while the kids raised their hands again. She picked a little blonde girl to come up.

Once she has the gun, my face begins to recoil in horror. I feel like I'm receiving my death sentence by a firing squad.

"Come on up "Lone Wolf" It's just you now." I look at them with so much anger, but I'm terrified by the girl holding a stun gun at me.

"But first... if anyone runs up and tries to mug you..." I turn to Frederick as he sprays pepper spray in my eyes, causing a horrible burning sensation to my eyes. I turn and cover my face as I scream in pain.

Then girl shot me in the ass. It knocked me out after the electrocution was flowing into my ass.

* * *

"Fuck those guys! I'm telling everyone we stole a cop car!" Stu yelled out as we were at the in lot, waiting for the Mercedes. I kept rubbing my eyes after getting sprayed

"Stu, calm down, I'm glad they let us go without charging us. We could have lost our jobs if- GRR! Fuck my eyes!." I cried out in pain. My eyes were still burning from the pepper spray.

Turns out after the shock and burn, I was the last to wake up in the department. Phil did his best to help and led me to the bathroom so I could wash my eyes. It didn't help much, but it did help me regain my eyesight, though it was a bit blurry at first.

But my thoughts were interrupted by Stu's whining.

"I don't care, you just can't taser or pepper spray people and laugh about it! Like you said Ryan! That's police brutality!... I'm gonna get a soda... you guys want one?" He asked calmly.

Phil and Alan shake their heads no while I get up and walk with Stu to get one.

"You know what Stu, calm down. I am right though, if they charged us, we'd lose almost everything we do for a living. Plus, we should be easy on Alan. The car may come back in many dings and scratches." I said to him while I got myself a Diet Pepsi.

"I bet you a hundred bucks it's gonna be trashed." Stu said getting a Coke.

"Well I hope it's not. Bet you two hundred on that." I said flashing my other two hundred I still had from my pocket.

"Your on." He said shaking my hand.

We come back to the two as Stu talks about how badly the car may be, while I look at Alan... who is very depressed. I walk over to him and pat him on the back. "Alan, it's gonna be okay, we're gonna find Doug, and I promise we'll make it to the wedding and still be friends by the time it's over."

Did I just say we'll still be friends?

The car is about to arrive as the others turn around, but I want to see if it's really beaten to shit. The Mercedes finally arrives, turns out, it's perfectly fine. Which means...

"Stu, I want my two hundred." I said as they turn around.

"Wow." Said Phil as I walk over to Stu.

"We shook on it."

He groans and gives me two hundred bucks.

* * *

While me and Alan were sitting in the back, we couldn't find anything in the car to help us out. All we found was a cigar, and a woman's boot. Nothing.

The only thing interesting was Alan pulling out was a "Snake skin".

He throws it onto Stu's shoulder. "EWW! It's a used condom Alan!" He said tossing it onto me!

"What the fuck! YUCK! Get it off!" I cried as I threw it onto Phil's shoulder.

"AH! Jesus Ryan! I got jizzed!" He cried before throwing it out the window before stopping out in the middle of a area far from Vegas.

"Alright! What the fuck man?! We gotta get this shit together guys!" He yelled at us while the three of us were giggling... until a loud knocking behind me was heard.

"What was that?" I asked.

"It's in the trunk." Said Phil.

"Doug's in the trunk!" Stu cried out as we jumped out of the car, heading into the back as Phil frantically tries to open the trunk.

Finally, we found Doug.

Now we can get back home, and save the wedding, just as Phil opens the trunk.

"DOUG!" We all cried out...

...But it wasn't Doug...

...Instead it was a naked Asian man jumping onto Phil's shoulders and begins whacking him with a tire iron. While Stu and Alan are confused and distracted, trying to tell the man to stop, I rush over to his side and pull him off. He turns to Stu then attacks him in the stomach and back until he falls, then whacks Phil right in the jaw and face.

He turns to me and swings, but I catch his arm as I pull mine back, ready to slug him, only for a sudden swift kick to the side of my knees, then he whacks me on the side of my jaw, sending me face first into the ground. I try to get back up on my knees, but he kicks me in the ribs, then slams the iron in my stomach. I cough so hard as I rolled onto my back, only for him to whack me a few more times in the back. Then he stops as I cough out a little bit of blood.

I look up to see the naked dude swinging the bar around his hand, moving around the car towards the helpless Alan. "I'm with you! I'm with you!" He cried out.

"You gonna fuck on me?!" The little Asian man said.

"Nobody is gonna fuck on you! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! He destroy's cities! Please!"

At first, it appears the man stops.

"This isn't your fault, alright? I can get you some pants." Said Alan.

The naked man throws the at Alan's face, striking him there. He runs off to the city naked as we all begin to rise, although painfully, since my leg, stomach, and back were in pain. I move my tongue around my teeth, yep, theirs blood in there... then I feel my tooth on my right side moving. I wiggle it around... and spit it out of my mouth, showing the entire tooth, including the part that was inside my gums.

I pick it up to show the guys, especially Stu. "Look like your not the only one." I said as they look stunned.

"Who the fuck was that guy? He was so mean!" Said Phil.

"Ryan, call 911. I have internal bleeding." Said Stu.

"Guys... I have a confession to make." Said Alan. What does he want now? We just got beaten up, how the hell can he make a confession at a time like this?

"Last night, on the roof of the hotel... I slipped something in our Jagermisters." He said... what?

"What the fuck are you talking about Alan?" I asked holding my ribs.

"Wait... you drugged us?" Said Stu.

"No... I'm sorry, I fudged up guys!"

"Alan! What the fuck are you talking about?! Spill it!" Phil shouted out.

"I was told it was ecstasy! I'm sorry guys!"

"Why the fuck would you wanna drug us Alan?!" I asked.

"And who gave you the drugs?" Stu asked.

"I just wanted us to have a good time! After all the problems you guys have... It was just gonna be one hit for all of you... I usually do three hits a night..."

"BUT IT WASN'T ECSTASY ALAN! IT WAS ROOFIES!" I yelled at him.

"You think I knew that Ryan? Th guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter."

"You mean the drug dealer at the liquor wasn't a good guy?"

"Let's just calm down." Phil said coming into our conversation, standing tall despite the beating he took.

"You fucking calm down!" Stu yelled out, obviously enraged by Alan's actions. "He drugged us! I lost a tooth! Ryan got a tattoo of this moron's face! He ran around naked!... I married a whore!"

"How dare you! He's a nice lady!" Alan objected.

"You are such a fucking moron!"

"Your language is offensive to me."

"FUCK! YOU!"

"All right, lets just take a breather, okay guys. Seriously, this is a good thing. Okay? At least it wasn't some stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason." Said Phil.

"Yeah, your right Phil, it's totally cool. But here's something I'd like to remind you all: Our best friend Doug, is probably facedown, in a ditch right now, with a meth-head, butt-fucking his corpse."

THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF STU!

Despite the pain I was in, I launched myself onto my feet and delivered a right hook to Stu's face, knocking him and myself down, but I quickly grab his collar and repeatedly started bashing my fist into his face.

"RYAN!" Phil called out as he grabbed my shirt, pulled me off of Stu, and shoved me against the car, pointing his finger at my face.

"This does not help our situation kid! We need to get our shit together and get back into the fucking game! Got it?!" He said with a serious tone.

Though upset and I really wanted to let it out, I could only nod in approval. Phil finally let me go and looked at all of us.

"Look, let's go back to the hotel, I'm gonna make a couple calls. Maybe Doug's back there. Maybe he's asleep. Let's get a move on." He said as I made my way into the back seat, just as I heard Stu telling Alan to shut up... until he accidentally opened the door in his face, then began to apologize for his actions.

So now we're somewhat back to square 1: at Ceaser's again...

**I apologize. I wanted to publish it earlier this morning but work schedules gave me some issues.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter though. Please review.**


	8. Mike Tyson!

**Well, here's another one, and a special thanks goes to xxxxninaxxxx, author of "Raise Your Glass", which I highly recommend to all you Hangover fans. It's absolutely funny and awesome.**

**Now, again, disclaimers... why do I have to put them in all my chapters?**

**I don't own the Hangover series, just Ryan.**

Chapter 8: Mike Tyson?!

Besides being tazed in the ass and my eyes getting burned, the walk up to the villa was just painful, forcing me to slightly limp due to that naked dude's assault on my leg, ribs, back, and jawbone.

Just as we near the door, Alan suddenly calls out in a whisper: "Wait guys, what about the tiger?"

We all groaned, since we just realized that we completely forgot not only about the wrecked room, but also the dangerous animal that may be still stuck in the bathroom or maybe got itself freed.

"Fuck. I forgot about the goddamn tiger." Phil said as he put the key card in the door.

"How the hell did it get in there anyways?" I asked.

"I don't know, since _I don't remember_!" Stu said coldly towards Alan.

"Shut the fuck up Stu."

"Yeah that's one of the side effects of Roofies." Alan said, as if he just completely forgot about those drugs and this whole situation.

"You are literally too stupid to insult." Stu said insultingly.

"Guys, shh!" Phil said interrupting us as he opens the door to the villa.

Once we entered the room, it was still a bit messy, but there were some area's that were cleaned up, mostly the living room... then suddenly, music started to flow into my ears... it sounded familiar... wait a minute... it was Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight", one of my favorites... but it also hit me... how the hell is music playing? I don't remember turning on music before we left, and I know that the guys didn't turn any on... which means...

...Someone... or something is in the villa... could it be a burglar?... or the tiger?...

"Did you leave the music on?" Phil asked. I guess the guys just realized the situation...

Out of nowhere, we bump into a large African-American with a black suit and a nice looking black hat, forcing us to jump back in fear as Stu yelped like a girl.

"Who the hell are you?!" Phil asked.

"No, who the hell are you?!" The guy asked us.

"Quiet..." A voice called to us.

Over by the piano, another black man was sitting there with his hands in the air to keep us quiet. Slowly he moved from the seat and stood before he turned around, revealing himself to be... no... no way... no fucking way...

...standing before us, was one of the biggest, most badass men on the planet. I remember seeing a few fights of his, before the time he bit Holyfield's ear, and later punched the hell out of Shawn Michaels...

...standing before us was the most hardcore boxer's I've ever known...

...Holy fuck, standing before us, was none other, than Mike Tyson...

"This is my favorite part right here." He said, referring to the song.

As the drums to the music played, he joined in by doing air drums, then he began to sing, albeit poorly, but still sounds badass cause he's Mike Tyson.

"I can feel it, coming in the air tonight... sing with me guys." He said as he finished the line "Oh Lord", along with Alan, who quickly got the memo, but me and the other guys were just too stunned to even speak, cause their's a freaking badass icon standing in front of us!

"Well I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life!... come guys one more time."

This time, we did it, and it felt incredible.

"Oh Lord!" We all sang at the same time.

**'BAM!'**

A large right hook collided against Alan's face, knocking him down face-first into the ground. All I could say, is he was knocked the hell out!

"JESUS!" Phil cried out as we all jumped after Mike delivered that sudden, yet badass punch to Alan's face.

"Why did you do that?!" Stu asked as the large man, who I could assume was either his bodyguard, or manager turned off the music... okay well maybe Mike Tyson doesn't really need a body-guard. He just knocked someone out with one punch!

"Mr. Tyson here would like to know why his tiger is in your guy's bathroom." The big guy said as Phil jumps in front of us.

"Hold on, that was completely unnecessary. I'm a huge fan! When you knocked out Holmes, that was-" But just as Tyson was to comment about that, the manager cuts them off.

"Explain."

I knew the guys were totally exhausted and felt like shit, so I stepped in and explained it to Tyson. "Look, we were drugged last night. We had no idea of what was happening to us. All we've tried to do was look for a missing friend of ours before a wedding occurs tomorrow." I said.

"Its true, and we got into a lot of trouble last night... and if you wanna kill us, then go right ahead, cause I don't care anymore." Stu said stepping in for me.

"That's right, if- Stu what are you saying?" Did he really want to die now?

"I don't care." Oh my God has he really given up on life?!

"Why the fuck did you want to steal his tiger?" The manager asked us again.

"We tend to do dumb shit when we're all fucked up." Said Phil, trying to find an excuse like he always does when we're in trouble. Just like that time we went to Wisconsin, and boy did he really get us into trouble.

"I don't believe these guys." Said Tyson, causing a bit of fear to come into my systems.

"Look, how'd you find us here anyways?" Phil asked.

"One your boys here left his jacket in the tigers cage." The manager said holding out a jacket that belongs to...

"That's Doug's!" Stu called out.

"Yeah, Doug." Then he threw the jacket at me, so I caught it and took a quick look inside of it. "He left his wallet and hotel keys in there."

"He's our missing friend." I said.

"I don't give a fuck."

"Well did you see him by any chance?"

"We were all fast asleep. Woke up and checked the survaillence moniters, saw everything that happened. If I woke up, this shit would never have gone down. And that tiger would have at his ass like Omar." Tyson said with some sterner tone in his voice.

"Respect." The manager said pulling off his hat and putting it on his heart... Oh my...

"Wait, what happened to Omar?" Phil asked, not getting the point.

"Omar's not with us no more, he's in a better place now." Said Tyson.

"Look, We're sorry we took your tiger, but I know I this is asking a lot, there anyway we can get a look at those security footage at your place? You know, find any clues or something?"

"Absolutely. How else are we gonna get the tiger back. Come on champ." The manager said as he and Tyson walked towards the doors.

"Wait, what?" Both Phil and I asked.

The two turned around and just grinned at us. "We're not gonna put him in the Bently, you brought him here, you gonna bring him back. Let's say, in about an hour?" Then the manager left as Mike Tyson gave us one last warning.

"Don't make me come back for him..." Then the former boxing champ left, causing me to realize that somehow we're suppose to bring his tiger back to his home...

...Aw shit...

"That was Mike Tyson." Stu said.

"Yeah no shit that was Mike Tyson. Said Phil.

"I'm just saying. He's still got it!"

"Hell yeah he does... oh shit! Alan!" I turned to the floor to see him still lying there on the ground, face bruised from the right hook he took.

All three of us quickly helped get back up his feet, and then I began to explain the situation to him.

* * *

So here's what our plan was on how to get that carnivorous animal out of the hotel, in the Mercedes, and back to Tyson's home: we get ourselves a raw steak, then Alan plants whatever roofies he has left into them, then one of us goes in there to feed the tiger, and knock it out.

But one of us had to make the sacrifice to go in there... an it sure as hell ain't gonna be me.

So it came down to one answer: Rock-paper-scissors.

And on the first hit... Phil, Alan, and I got rock while Stu got scissors.

As Alan planted the roofies in the steak, Stu once again, for the millionth time, started his bitching and complaining. "This is so not fair." He moaned.

"It's rock-paper-scissors Stu. You lost." Phil said.

"Alan should do it. He drugged us."

"Alan took a hit from Mike Tyson! That's enough for him. Come on, for Doug." Then it caught my eye that Alan was peppering the steak.

"Why are you peppering that? Tigers don't like pepper." Stu said.

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon." Alan quickly said. Okay, so Alan must read a lot about tigers I guess.

"Phil, just do it."

"I would Stu, but you lost the game. It's not right if I had to do it for you." Said Phil.

"Ryan, please help me out here. Just take it and go."

"Be a man for once... asshole." I said with a low tone in my voice.

"There, five roofies, that should knock him down. Carefully take this in there, and make sure he eats it all." Alan said handing Stu the tigers meal.

As he walked towards the bathroom, I quickly looked to Phil and said: "I'm sorry, he's really getting on my nerves."

"I know. Me too." Phil said as I heard Stu close the door.

"Why is- why would he- what kind of idiot closes himself in a room with a jungle cat?" I asked the guys before once again, Stu comes out of the bathroom, screaming like a girl.

After a minute he manages to calm down and take a breather, he looks at us and asks: "Now what?"

"We wait." Alan said... I don't know if that was a weird answer or a good idea. Again, I just don't understand this guy.

* * *

So while Alan and Phil sat down on the couch, waiting for the tiger, me and Stu took our time of patience by sitting next to the piano... well Stu was, I was standing next to him, waiting for him to start playing.

As he started his musical rhythm, Stu started to sing

_What do tigers dream of?_

_When they take a little tiger snooze?_

Then I joined in.

_Do they dream of mauling zebras? _

_Or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?_

Then it was both of us singing whatever this song was to the very end.

_Well don't you worry, pretty striping head Gonna get you back to Tyson in your tiger cozy bed, And then were gonna find our best friend Doug_

_And then were gonna give him a best friend hug. DOUG! Doug. Doug. Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug... But if he's been murdered by crystal-meth tweakers..._

Then the tiger let out a moan, before we hear a loud 'thud'.

_Well then we're shit out of luck._

Then we all realized the tiger was knocked out.

* * *

Upon exiting the room with a stroller or whatever its called... I'm a math teacher, not a bellhop... anyways, with that thing with the tiger on it, covered by a white blanket, slowly sneaking him out of the room, I realized that his snarling muzzle was showing.

"Alan! Cover that!" I silently called to him as Stu once again complains.

"By the way, we're all gonna die." He said.

"Shut your mouth Stu." I said back to him.

As we slowly moved towards the hallway, Phil and Alan accidentally turn to the wall very closely, causing the animal's face to collided with it.

"Watch it you idiots!" I called out quietly. "You hit his nose!"

This ain't gonna end well... somehow, I just know this isn't going to end well...

**And I'll stop there for now, but soon enough, the next chapter will be here soon, as the four try to take the tiger back to Tyson's Mansion, but one of them won't be going there unscathed.**

**See you next time!**

**Review please by the way.**


	9. Help from Tyson

**Disclaimers... I'm really starting to get pissed off! I don't own Hangover, just Ryan.**

**And special thanks goes out to xxxninaxxx. And your welcome on the shout-out I gave you**

Chapter 9: Help from Tyson

All four of us were crammed in the front of the Mercedes, since Tyson's tiger is in the back. It was tight, but we managed to fit somehow. Alan begins to talk about the next Hailey's comet, while I begin to doze off a little. A minute or so later however, I heard a wired moan that didn't sound human, so I woke up hearing Alan talk about the next comet passing.

"So I guess in about the next sixty years it may-"

**ROWAR!**

The loud roar of a beast caught our attentions. We turned around to see the tiger's snarling muzzle wide open.

We all screamed in terror as the tiger, somehow fully awake, was roaring at us.

I thought Alan putting five roofies in the steak would knock him out until we got him to Tyson's mansion.

We were wrong.

We kept screaming like girls as Phil swerves on the right, as I notice the tiger getting more fierce. It's paws were up and ready to strike... at Phil.

"PHIL LOOK OUT!" I cried as I thrust myself to shield him, as I felt the claws dig in and slice down on the back of my neck!

"AUGH!" I cried in pain as I push myself more on Phil, causing him to turn the wheel sharply to the left and hit the side of the bus.

Finally we stopped as me and Phil got out on the left, while Stu and Alan got out on the right as we continue to scream like girls.

"GUYS! GUYS! HE GOT ME! HE CLAWED ME!" I shouted out showing them three deep long slashes on my neck.

"OH MY GOD HE CLAWED RYAN!" Stu cried out.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Alan cried out as the tiger begins to rampage inside the car, eventually smashing his foot through the window.

* * *

With my neck still bleeding, Stu, Phil, and I had to push the last few miles down to Tyson's mansion, while Alan had to steer for us, only to jump back in fear.

"Get your fucking hand back on the steering wheel!" I cried out.

"I can't do it guys! I'm too scared!" He said.

"Alan, we need you buddy, this is your moment to shine." Said Stu as Alan finally puts his hand back on the wheel.

* * *

We arrived twenty minutes late at Tyson's mansion, but who cares, we got the tiger back and at least Tyson didn't come looking for us. We rang the doorbell as the manager opened the door. "Your late." He said.

"Look, whatever we had to push the last few miles." Said Phil.

"Come in, Mr. Tyson wants to show you something." He said as Stu and Alan entered, while me and Phil look at the manager.

"Dude, you gotta put that thing down, he's out of control." Said Phil walking away as I show the manager the bleeding clawed marks on my neck.

"Shit kid. What happened?" He asked.

"It woke while we were driving, went for Phil, I jumped in." I said as I walked behind Phil to see Tyson sitting on his couch.

"Holy shit kid, what happened to your neck?" He asked while petting his dog.

"The tiger, that's what." I said sitting down on his comfortable couch.

"After we got back, we checked over the security footage." Said the manager as Tyson turns on the monitor. It shows all five of us drunk, walking awkwardly into Tyson's yard as Doug says:

"_This is how you walk, this is how you walk."_

"That's Doug!" Stu cried out.

"Oh thank God he was there." I said.

"That's our missing friend." Said Phil as Tyson had a small smile on his face.

"How about, we pay attention to the monitor, I don't have all night." He said in a calm yet threatening voice.

We shut our traps as we watch the footage. The picture shows Alan by Tyson's pool.

"Hey, look that's me! I'm on tv! I've never been tv before!" He said as the footage shows Alan peeing in the pool.

"Really?" Phil asked looking upset with Alan as Tyson glares at him.

"_Your gonna overflow the pool man!"_ Said Doug on the footage as we all watch Alan pee and look at the camera.

"Maybe I should wait outside." He said.

"I think that's a good idea." Said Tyson.

As he gets up to leave, the manager warns him: "Don't touch anything out there either." as Alan exits the room.

Tyson looked back at us, very, _very _confused. "You know what? We don't really know him well, he's the groom's brother-in-law." Said Stu.

We look at the monitor again, showing us stealing his tiger... as I run around naked on Tyson's lawn. "Oh, man..." I groaned putting my hands in my face.

"Hey kid, I thought this was funny." Said Tyson, slapping me on the back. I hiss as I feel the tattoo stinging my back again.

The picture shows me posing in front of the camera, shouting: _"Mike Tyson! You may be a badass boxer, biting ears off, breaking noses, punching pro wrestler Shawn Michael's and shit, but I'm a teacher with no respect, so I'm being badass, by running around your home naked, and calling you out! How about you come out here now and challenge the LONE WOLF! Come on man! Bring your sorry ass out-"_ That's when Doug and Phil tackle me to the ground, trying to put my clothes back on as I struggle with them.

"Okay kid, you do some sick things, but that was totally hilarious!" Tyson laughed, so did Phil and Stu while my cheeks were burning red.

* * *

Later the footage shows us, this time with my clothes on (though it looked messy), taking the tiger to the cop car.

"By the way man, where did you get that cop car from?" Tyson asked us.

"We stole it, from some dumbass cops." Said Stu.

"NICE!" Tyson started to laugh as he gave us high fives. Okay, maybe he isn't so bad at all.

The next footage shows Phil putting the tiger in the car.

"You know, I've never seen, such a beautiful, more elegant creatu-" But Phil was cut off as it shows him humping the tiger.

"_Guys! Check it out! Fuck this tiger!"_

Tyson frowned upon seeing us doing nasty shit: Phil humping the tiger, Alan puking on the back of the car, me starting to strip again, etc.

"Oh man... who does sick shit like this?" He asked again.

"Someone with a lot of issues." I said. The footage stops as Stu turns to Tyson.

"Thank you Mr. Tyson, this was a, huge, help you showed us. Now we know that Doug was with us around 3:30." He said.

"No problem man, I mean, like you said, you tend to do dumb shit like these." Said Tyson as we all laugh again as Phil sort of objects, saying it was him saying that quote.

* * *

Inside the ripped and torn car, this time with Stu driving, we all chill for a moment as Stu, with a smirk on his face says: "You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is a badass, I think he's kind of a sweetheart."

"Me too Stu, that was nice of him to help us out." I said. It was pretty nice of him actually. I mean with all of his bad records and history, he just suddenly came out of nowhere and helped us out... after punching Alan and making us take his tiger back.

"Well I think he's mean." Said Alan.

"Why? Because you got punched in the face? You deserved it." Alan just glares at me as Phil steps in.

"Alright, I think it's time to officially call Tracy." He said.

"Finally! Phil makes perfect sense! You can tell her everything, but you can leave out some stuff, like me, marrying, a hooker." Said Stu.

"Phil we can't do that." I said.

"What? Why not?" He asked.

"Look, if she finds out about this, then the wedding is off!"

"And she'll probably squeeze our grapefruits until theirs no more juice in them." Alan added in.

I turned to look at him in disgust. "What?" I asked.

"Well when her and I were kids, there were times she grabbed the fruits whenever she got angry at me."

"She's not going to kill us Alan."

"Guys, lets just calm down here, we'll discuss our next plan of action as soon as we stop." Phil said as we stopped at an intersection, next to a large sign.

Alan then asks us an important question when he realizes the damage to the interior of the car. "Guys! What are we gonna do about my dad's car?!" He panicked.

"Alan! Relax. I know a guy who is great with the interior of car-"

"LOOK OUT!" I cried out a bit too late as we all noticed a set of high beams striking the side of the car, sending all of us into the sign.

At that moment, just like last night, everything was black again...

**Cliffhangers... don't we hate them?**

**Thought I'd left that there so you'd worry about our heroes, but obviously they'll be fine... except Ryan.**

**Next chapter will be here soon. Just wait for it. Read and review please.**


	10. Naked guy strikes again

**This was going to originally be published last night, but I decided to do it on the Fourth of July today. Hope you all enjoy this one.**

**I don't own... you know what? It's the 4th of July today. Our Independence day! I ain't gonna do disclaimers here! So **

Chapter 10: Naked guy strikes again.

"Ryan... Ryan... RYAN!"

The echoing calls from Phil woke me up, but I just kept wondering what the hell happened. "What's going on? Where am I?" I asked.

"We got hit by a car, and it knocked us into a sign." Said Phil as he pointed up. I looked at the direction to see a pink head of a statue or design or something of a lady ripped through the convertible's roof.

"Oh dammit... Sid's not gonna like this." I said before I noticed that a little Asian man in a dark blue suit was standing in the front of car... he looked awfully familiar...

"Wait a minute! I know that guy! That's the guy from the trunk!" Said Alan.

Holy shit, he was right! The same guy that took us down earlier today, was standing, thankfully in clothes, in front of us with his hand gesturing to us to get out of the car.

"Step out of the car... please." He said, calmly.

Then two large thug looking men appeared by the doors and grabbed me and Phil forcefully, pulling us out of the Mercedes, then dropping us onto the ground before they went after Stu and Alan.

"Get all of them, get the fat boy." The little Asian man said.

Once they forcefully, again, take Alan and Stu out of the car, they walked up to the little man before I got a good glimpse of who they were. Oh shit. Those two guys are the same ones that attacked us earlier at the chapel. The same guys that shot Eddie.

"Guys. That's the guy from the trunk... and the two guys that shot Eddie!" Alan cried out as we all stood, but with all the pain I suffered today, it took me a long time to get back on my feet.

"Alright. I want my purse back!... assholes." The trunk guy said, holding what appeared to be Alan's satchel.

"What? What purse?" Stu asked.

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel!" Alan pointed out.

"It's a purse! Okay?!... and you steal... from wrong guy." Why would this guy want a purse? Is he some sort of... oh.

"Wait a second, wait a second. We stole from you?" Phil asked.

"Okay, you know what? We don't remember anything that happened last night...so help us out a little here." Stu added. We hoped however, that they knew what we did last night.

The two bigger thugs, which I forgot to describe, one had a goatee and slick black hair, while the other looked more taller, and also had slick black hair, but no facial hair or anything.

The taller one began to explain. "Well, apparently you guys met at a craps table late last night. You were on a heater, and he played your hot streak. He ended up winning just under 80 grand."

"No shit? Eighty grand is nice. Okay, that's good." I said.

"He put the chips in his purse, and then you guys took off with it." The thug explained.

"That doesn't sound like us." I added.

"Mine had $80,000 inside. And this one? Nothing!" The little man threw Alan's satchel onto the ground and stomped on it.

"Hey, there are Skittles in there!" Alan cried out as he walked to the little man, but was stopped by the goatee thug and was struck in the gut. "Ow! Oh, not again." Alan muttered as me and the guys quickly helped him slowly down to the ground.

The little man suddenly started laughing like crazy, pointing at Alan.

"Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child." Stu said... well at least I was right this whole time: Alan is a child.

"It's funny because he's fat." The little man said.

"Now, look, this was obviously a very simple misunderstanding. Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal." Stu continued.

"Okay, if it's, "No big deal," why, when I come after you guys... when he starts screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk?" The little man added pointing to Phil.

"What, I did that?" Phil pointed at himself, looking very confused.

The tall slick thug continued. "Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm...and you want to take him home with you."

I didn't want this confrontation to get ugly, so I started to laugh a little to calm things down, plus it was funny that Phil actually did something like that. "Lucky charm." I muttered. "It's funny, cause we were just doing fucked up shit last night." I continued as it got more funnier.

The other guys started to join in, including the little man. "Oh, it's just funny." Said Phil.

The little man, however, suddenly glared at us with anger. "Ah, Fuck you..." We turn to look at him with a shocked expression. "If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand."

What did he just say? Our friend? Does he mean he has Doug?!

"Our friend? You have Doug?" Stu asked with a shocked tone.

"You know about our friend?" I asked.

The tall thug pounded the window on the little man's vehicle. A pillow cased head pops into our view. Son of a bitch. This little bastard has Doug!

"Doug! Doug! Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car! Doug, it's okay!" Phil, Alan, and Stu shouted out as I stared at Doug in shock. My best friend we've searched for all day has been kidnapped and being held hostage in front of my eyes. Now there was horrifying thoughts coming into my mind. If I don't do something, or if I make a mistake or something terrible to the gangsters, then they might kill Doug... and Tracy will lose the man she loves dearly... all because it might be our faults.

The trio tried their very best to jump into the car and retrieve Doug, but they were no match for the two thugs. Again, all I could do was stare at Doug.

" You chill out, goatee!" Phil yelled out.

"Guys! Knock it off! We can't get Doug... now, alright. Now look, what do you want?" I asked the little man.

"Not so good now. Quid pro quo, douche bag." He said. "You know what I want."

"Look, we're very sorry. But this is an easy fix. Alan, where's his purse?" Phil asked.

"I don't know." Alan said regrettably.

"It's in the hotel room, right?"

"Yeah, we can get it. We can get you the... We can even write you a check right now." Stu offered.

"No checks. Cash only!" The little man said motioning with his hands.

"Oh, come on! There's a person in there!" I shouted out.

"'Yawn', Boring. Take nap. Come on." The little man and his goons started walking back to their car, with the obvious intent on leaving us to find the money, while they keep Doug as an insurance policy.

"Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you?!" Stu shouted out offended.

The man entered his vehicle, along with his goons and started up the car, preparing to leave.

"You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper!" Alan cried out.

"Wait. Oh, no. You're not going anywhere." Stu said trying to stop the car, but clearly he was being pulled around by the vehicle like a bitch. Once the car stopped, he stood out in front of them. "Stop. Stop. Run me over."

The goons prepare to run him over, but stops quickly, just to frighten Stu, who jumps out of their way. Before they left however, the little man puts his head out the window, glaring at us before leaving a message. "Bring money... to Big Rock... in Mojave Desert... _at dawn."_

"WHAT?!" All four of us cried out.

"Toodle-oo, motherfucker." The little man taunted us before he rolled the windows up. And then they took us, leaving us in a very precarious situation.

"Well, at least take the bag off his head! Fuck!" Stu shouted out to them, but it was too late, they were already gone.

I snatched the keys from Phil and quickly hopped into the car. The guys just stood there in the middle of the road, dumbfounded of my actions.

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?! Come on, we need to get out of here!" I called out after turning the ignition on. They rushed to the doors, but with the doors damaged due to the car and the pole, the boys were forced to climb into the seats.

I shifted the car into drive and headed back to Ceaser's Palace. "We gotta find that purse. It's our only chance at getting Doug back." I said.

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel-" Alan said before I looked back at him and yelled:

"I KNOW ALAN! I KNOW!" Alan looks down, a bit upset of my words.

"Alan, I'm sorry, but if we don't find that idiot's... satchel... then-"

"RYAN!" Stu cried out, pointing to the nearest stop lights. It was too late for me to stop, so without any choice, I had to drive through the intersection, barely making it past tones of angry drivers who honk their horns at me... all while Stu screams like a girl... for the millionth time.

"FUCK KID! You drove like a maniac through there!" Phil said looking back.

"Ryan, you said if we don't find that satchel, then what?" Alan asked, though Stu, Phil, and I knew the answer already.

"He's gonna kill Doug." I said.

**Have a happy 4th of July everyone.**

**Also, when the story is done, I plan on adding all of you who favored and liked this story at the end credits, plus there will be a preview of the second Hangover story.**


	11. Tattoo's, Secrets, crazy shit, etc

**Sorry for the long wait. Had to do some other things and publish other ones as well.**

**So, enjoy this one.**

**By the way, check out Raise Your Glass by xxxxninaxxxx. It's now over 100 reviews, and still very good, especially with the recent chapter.**

**I don't own Hangover or anything else. Just Ryan**

Chapter 11: Tattoos, secrets, blackjack, and all that crazy shit

We rushed back into the villa to find Alan's purse, and started to look everywhere, room to room, couch to couch, door to door, everywhere inside out.

I started to take the cushions off the couch, scrambling them off to look for the purse, but to no avail.I went to my bags I packed for the trip, and dumped everything out, but there was no sign of Alan's purse.

I walked out of the room, hoping that they found the purse. To my dismay however, I saw that none of them had the bag... fuck..

"Dammit. Are you guys sure you looked everywhere?" I asked.

"We're sure kid. We've checked under and over, but there's no sign of that damn bag." Said Phil.

"Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this morning before we left." Said Alan.

"Shit. We got to find it now, or Doug's dead." I said.

Alan and I went for the couch and started to take the cushions off again, as Phil and Stu talked. "Stu. How much you got in the bank?" Phil asked.

"Uh, about ten grand. I was gonna use it for the wedding." Stu explained.

"Well you're already married. So we're good there. Besides, enough with Melissa, she's the worst."

"Ain't that the truth." I put in. Thank God I forgot about that bitch this whole time after the wedding chapel incident... now for some reason I'm wondering which is worse: Melissa or Doug?...

"Yeah. Doug told me she had sex with a pilot or something." Said Alan.

"Bartender." I corrected him.

"Kid's right, what's wrong with you guys?" Said Stu. I look at him and just shook my head, hoping that he would just forget it. These guys would always forget that it's a bartender. I turned to my right to see Alan picking up a slice of pizza that was underneath the carpet... and started to eat it.

"EWW!" I blurted out while catching Stu's attention.

"Ew, Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?" He asked.

"Yes." Alan replied.

"Okay, lets just stop talking about this shit that doesn't relate to us... shit, what are we gonna do? We are so fucked." Phil said sitting back down on a chair.

"Hey guys?" We turned to Alan.

"You found it?" We all said at the same time.

"No, but check this out." He said holding up something a book about how to easily win blackjack and poker games...

...and it just hit me... Alan was talking about cheating while we were traveling down here to Vegas. Suddenly, an idea just sprung before us...

* * *

It was not only illegal, but also very dangerous. One wrong move, and there's no wedding tomorrow.

So we had to plan this out carefully. We knew that despite Alan's stupidity, he is somehow an expert on counting and memorizing cards, so we decided that he should be the one to gamble tonight. Phil would be his escort.

Stu and I were to cover Alan's back if anything goes south. So Stu decided, much to my surprise, that he'll invite his "wife" Jade over with us, but pretend that they don't know Phil or Alan..

My job was the same, except I'll cover the guys by walking around them, cause if Alan does get caught, then there may be more security or something, so I can distract them.

* * *

Later on I took a shower, which felt nice and incredibly painful due to the beat downs by the little naked Asian man, open bullet wound (oh yeah, forgot to tell ya my stitches popped!), and slight sunburn earlier due to the heat out here in Vegas. But I brushed that all aside, since I wanted to get Doug and get the fuck out of here already. I've had enough to deal with, especially running around naked in public, cause now the career I love so much is about to go down the drain.

After drying myself off, I saw another new tux on a bed, which had my name on it. Oh right, we're going out to a casino, we have to look nice.

"Hey Ryan. You okay?" Alan called out as I turned to see him in a new tux, plus his hair was nicely slicked back. But I also noticed he was holding something behind his back.

"Yeah, I'm just a little sore, that's all. Your hair looks nice by the way." I said. Once again, still can't believe I'm commenting on how nice he is.

"Yeah, kinda going for the movie look." I just stop for a moment, confused on those words, but I just shrug it off and pull the tux out. It was another black tux, but this time the inside shirt was red. A good combination sometimes.

"Hey Ryan. I figured out a way how you can save us if we get caught." Said Alan. I turn to look at him and raised an eyebrow. He smiled and pulled out a box from behind.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Open it up."

I quickly ripped off the tape and opened the top part of the box, which reveals... to be a creepy-ass looking wolf head mask. "Alan, what the fuck is this?"

"It's a mask. In case we get caught, you can distract them by bringing out your lone wolf animal side. You get naked, put on the mask, then people will call you the "Lone Wolf" and chase after you while we get away." Alan explained with a happy grin on his face.

I took a look at the mask, acting like I was interested... until I used it to slap the back of his head.

"So, the plans settled?" Stu asked as he, Jade, and I walked into the casino. Up ahead I saw Alan and Phil turning and giving us a nod before they went down the escalators. "Alright. Let's get a move on people. We don't have much time." Said Stu as we headed towards Alan and Phil's direction.

* * *

Our plan begun when Alan sat down at the table and handed the dealer ten grand. I gave Stu and Jade a simple nod that their part is ready. They walked up to the table and sat down next to Alan.

I had to find a place where I could see everything around the group... I walked around and looked around... until... much to my dismay, found a spot where I could cover everything... which turned out to be a small bar for the casino. Damn it! For once in my now broken straight edge life, I head on over there and took a seat... and ordered a drink. "Could I get some campagne please?" I asked.

"Are you old enough kid?" The bartender in a nice white suit asked.

"Goddamn my age." I muttered as I pulled out my wallet (which thankfully wasn't lost), and showed him my ID. He pulled out a bottle and poured me a glass. "Actually. I'm really having a fucked up day, so I'm going to need some shots... and change it to something else. Vodka or Jagermisters or something."

The bartender pulled out a small cup and handed me a bottle of a liqor I didn't really care about. "Don't drink too much if I were you." He warned.

"Trust me. You wouldn't want to know what the fuck happened to me last night." I replied as I filled the small glass, and took my first shot out of who knows how much that night.

* * *

About, what I presumed to be an hour, I watched Phil jump and cheer, meaning that Alan just won a game. But the thing is Phil. We got a long ways to go. Oh, that's when the shots were starting to get to me. I shook it off and took another, just as I heard a man holler to me.

"Lone Wolf Ryan?! OH MY GOD ITS YOU!" I widened my eyes in surprise as I looked to see a man in a nice blue tux walking towards me with a big happy smile on his face. The only thing creepy about this guy was his hair, a weird blonde color with his hair shaped like the top of an ice cream loop, which was something Miley Cyrus would do on her hair, and this guy's feminine voice. "How are you sweetheart?! How is everything going with your friends? How is your art on your back?" He just kept asking me all these questions while I stared oddly at him... though the art on my back caught my attention.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh you know me honey! Lars Dionne, of the Dionne Arts Fashions! You know, where you got your lovely looking friends face on your back!" Said Lars.

"Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!... You're the one who gave me this on my back?" Again I asked, pointing to my back.

"Well of course silly? What? You don't remember?"

"Fuck no. The same guy on my back gave me roofies last night. So I don't remember a goddamn thing."

"Oh no... oh no that can't be!"

"Well it did happen... so can you explain how this got put on my back?"

"Well honey, you came in last night with your four friends, and you were clearly drunk as well. You started bragging about how your friend Alan was like the your best friend and all, and you wanted him to be part of you forever, so you decided you wanted to get his face on your back. So you came to my shop so you could have your best friend on your body..."

It just sounded wrong.

"...and when we were in progress, you were just laughing your balls off, then pretty handsome boy Phil took over and scribbled the beard, then cuttie Alan did the hair for ya."

Alan and Phil did that? Jesus we were really wasted last night. "Did you see Doug around that time?" I asked.

"Oh the little hot man? Oh yes he was there." Lars answered.

"Do you remember the last time you saw him?"

"Oh yes, the funny thing was, you wanted to show everyone your animal side and friendship with Alan, so you told me to make a video of you showing everyone the tattoo. The only thing was you took all your clothes off and ran around the streets. After the cops chased after you, your friends said they couldn't find the Mercedes, so they took the cop car. It was fucking hilarious!"

So that's how we ended up with the cop car. Only thing is... "Were you the one who posted the video on YouTube?" I asked.

"Yes. Like you said: you wanted to show everyone the beautiful image of your friendship."

I turned to look at Alan, just as Phil, Stu, and Jade, along with everyone else jumped and cheered for him.

I had to admit in defeat however. Over this time, Alan has started to become more than an idiotic ally to our mission to find Doug... he's become a friend. "Yeah. Alan has sure fucked up this trip... but I have to say... he's quite a special friend if you ask me. Okay, now that's out of the way, Lars, look, I really appreciate the job you did, but the thing is, I'm a teacher, and if anyone at college or my supervisors see that video, I am so fucked and fired. Is there anyway you can remove the video?"

It looked like it hurt him on the inside, but he slowly nods and says, "For the wildest, sexy Lone Wolf, I shall do as you wish."

For some reason, the booze in my systems were starting to act crazy, and then out of nowhere, much to my horror, I stood up and grabbed his face and delivered a smack kiss to his face...

I widened my eyes after realizing what the fuck I just did, but Lars took it pretty well. "Oh wow honey, you kiss like my last boyfriend."

Okay. I quickly went for the nearest trash can and threw up.

* * *

After another hour or so as Alan continues to win big money, Lars's constant screaming in excitement and saying my nickname caused a lot of people to crowd over me, either surprised, excited, or angry to see me.

Let me give you an example of what happened with those who were surprised and excited.

A guy, about mid-20's, came up to me and said not only what I did was badass, but also said that I had balls for what I did.

That actually filled my heart with joy. This guy, unlike my students, was saying I'm hardcore. Fuck yeah!...

...Now let me tell you how the angry ones reacted to me.

A sexy blonde came over to me with a glass of campagne, with a strange happy look on her face. "Your the Lone Wolf. Right?" She asked.

"You saw everyone else hottie. So yeah. I'm him." I said drunkenly.

"Well thanks to you. My child has been running around my house making wolf howlings, while HE'S NAKED!" Then she threw the alcohol in my face...

….

…

….and followed by her swinging her right leg into my nuts.

* * *

So yeah, after my nuts healed by that blonde's kick, I noticed that a security guard in a suit was heading towards Alan. Despite the alcohol in my systems, I realized that Alan was caught! Fuck! I had to do something! But what? I quickly jumped out of my seat, and tried to walk over there, but I slipped and fell onto the floor face-first.

"Ow... I wanna go home..." I whined.

Then I heard Jade scream and fall, causing me to look up and see here down on the ground laughing, as the security guard walks up and checks on her to see if she's okay, as Stu joins them, telling the guy that's his wife and she's clumsy sometimes.

But I turned and looked to see if Alan and Phil were okay, and yes they were. They were walking away towards me with what I presumed to be Alan's satchel that he recovered earlier.

"Ryan? What the fuck are you doing?" Phil asked.

"He's laying on the ground Phil." Said Alan.

"I know that Alan. Seriously Ryan, did you drink too much or something?"

"Fuck no, I was just... looking for my car keys." I said with the obvious drunk tone.

"You mean these car keys?" Phil asked pulling out the keys to the Mercedes. I was about to say I was looking for something else, until I noticed another security guard walking towards Alan.

"Phil, get Alan to the car and start her up! I'll handle this asshole!" I said standing up, reaching for something in Alan's bag, pulling out the creepy wolf mask **(YES! Alan kept that damn thing!)**, and awkwardly walked to the guard, shoving myself into him.

"What the hell are you doing kid?" The man asked.

"Just looking for some hot chick action!" I said a little loudly.

"Well you in my way, so step aside kid."

"Kid? No one calls me that anymore! Your dealing with the Lone Wolf baby!" That's when I started to draw a crowd. "You want to take me on? Fine douche! Let's go!" I noticed the crowd was starting to get larger. I noticed Stu and Jade walking away as well, but not before Stu gave me a "what the fuck?" look.

"We got an issue here. Call the police." The man said in his radio comms in his ear. I quickly swiped it and spoke into it.

"Hey, is this KFC or something? I'd like an order of chicken assholes if you got any-"

***SMACK!***

Down I went as the crowd gasps and the guard pulls me up. Before he could do anything else, I grabbed his shoulders and delivered a head-butt, knocking him out cold.

"Don't mess with the Lone Wolf!" I cried out as the crowd cheered for me. I turned and saw Lars clapping for me.

"Police business. What the hell is going on here?" A familiar voice came into my ears. I turned around and saw two faces I hoped I never see again.

"Oh shit!" It was Officer Frederick, and his partner, whose name I still can't remember.

"Oh dammit! It's him again!" The female cop cried out.

"Your going down for good this time wolfy!" Frederick said angrily as he pulled out his nightstick and walked towards me. He took a swing at me, but I ducked in time before it struck me. I reached for his belt and grabbed his pepper spray, then sprayed it into his eyes.

He was screaming like a little girl, causing some people to laugh their asses off. Fredrick fell to the ground holding his face, just as I turned around to see the female cop run towards me. Right as she reached me, I took a step to the side and tripped her, causing her to fall headfirst into Frederick's nuts. He sat up, holding his precious jewels, screaming as he held one hand onto his face, and one hand onto his sack. Revenge never felt so sweet.

"I told you before bitches! Never mess with the LONE WOLF BABY!" I cried out as the people cheered me on. I pulled the mask onto my head and howled like a wolf, before I noticed so many guards coming after me. So I ran to the exit, with the crowd crying out repeatedly: "Lone Wolf! Lone Wolf! Lone Wolf!"...

….

…..

….

….. What the fuck is wrong with me? I woke up with a huge headache. My legs were in pain again, I was only in my red shirt and black pants, but my socks and shoes were missing!... plus my brain was beating like a heartbeat. And it hurts like hell!

"You okay Ryan?" Stu asked while Phil drove... wait? We were driving?

"What the fuck happened to me last night? Did I get drugged again Alan?" I asked holding my head.

"No dumbass. You were running around the streets trying to take your clothes off... again." Said Phil looking back at me through the review mirror.

"All I could guess buddy was you were drinking last night." Said Alan.

"Really Alan? Are you that stupid to realize the stunt he pulled last night?" Stu asked.

"You know what, I think we're just giving him a hard time. Here sweetie." Jade said as she put an icepack on my head.

"Thanks." I said quietly.

"You should have seen yourself last night dude. You were getting drunk and covered out escape by fighting off that security guard coming after Alan and I, then you got some sweet payback on those fucking cops that tazered our asses yesterday." Said Phil.

"Then, you put on the mask I gave ya last night, then you went all crazy and tried to strip out in public again, but Phil knocked you out before you had the chance." Alan explained as well.

"Well I remember all that  
stuff. So wonder why my head feels like shit. Thanks for the hit by the way Phil." I said.

"Don't mention it bud."

* * *

After dropping off Jade and thanking her for everything she's done, we drove off into Mojave desert with what I hope is the eighty grand. Stu tossed me the bag and asked if I could count the amount we have.

Despite how much my brain was in pain, I started to count each chip. It took me a while, but at the end, with my math knowledge, I managed to come up with the total amount...

"So fellas, with all of this, this total comes up to $82,400!" I pointed out happily.

The others jumped in surprise and hollered in joy. "I don't fucking believe it!" Phil cried out.

"Alan! You the man!" Stu called out.

"Thanks guys. You all are." He said.

"Man, we should come back sometime and take the whole city down!" Phil said, clearly back to his old ways again.

"Yeah, I'm good for another weekend in Vegas." Said Alan, at least he's not himself.

"Not me. I've had enough of this shit. I just want to go home and go back to my job... if I still have a job." I pointed out.

"Or. We could just stay focused on getting Doug back." Said Stu, clearly still the same annoying whiny ass. Either it's just me, or Alan's the only one who's not act-"

"Actually guys, the Jonas Brothers are in town this weekend, but any other weekend would work." Alan added in.

Never mind then.

"You know guys, I have to say, I think our luck has finally turned around... we are back baby! WE ARE FUCKING BACK!" Phil called out happily.

"We are baaaaack! We are baaaaack! And we're getting Doug baaaack!" Stu sang.

"Fuck yeah!" I said like in that one song, America Fuck Yeah.

"And we're the four best friends that anybody could have. We're the four best friends that anyone could have. We're the four best friends that anybody could have. And we'll never, ever, ever, ever leave each other..." Alan started to sing, which actually felt uncomfortable. I looked at Phil and Stu, who also did the same. We were just confused, uncomfortable, and very annoyed by Alan's song... as he kept singing the same thing over and over again until we reached the naked Asian man.

**Again I apologize for the long wait people.**

**I just came back from a motocross camping trip with a good friend of mine, plus went to an amusement park, which unfortunately, I ended up horribly sunburned... ow...**

**The reason why I didn't put the name of the booze by the way is cause in reality, I'm straight edge, meaning I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. And I don't really look up on names of alcohol.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. reviews would be nice by the way.**

**P.S. Just updated the chapter in case I got anything wrong.**


	12. Wrong and Right Doug

**Well I'm going to once again give a shout out to xxxxninaxxxx. You have been not only an awesome follower, but also very kind to this story and to the character Ryan.**

**And thanks also goes out to those who followed and favored this one, especially the recent one I just got from Muppetgirllover99**

**Now please enjoy this chapter. I don't own Hangover (I'm really tired of disclaimers), just Ryan.**

Chapter 12: Wrong and right Doug.

Upon arriving at Mojave desert, I noticed what appears to be a black SUV up ahead, so I instantly knew that the little Asian man was there. I held onto the bag tightly in my hands, just praying that Doug is okay. If there was any signs of him dead, then we're all fucked.

As Phil stopped the car, we stayed where we were at and waited for the Asian thugs to come out...….and waited..…..and waited…..AND WAITED! My God! How long did it take for little naked Asian dude to come out?

"What the fuck do we do guys?" Phil asked us.

Really Phil? Maybe we could walk out first or something...

"Flash the headlights." Said Alan.

"What?" We all asked him.

"Just to show that the deal is still on." Alan explained more. Well here's an idea guys, why don't we just get out of the car and show them the bag? I could say that, but I'd rather sit this one out cause I want to see if we're getting stupider or not.

"The deal is still on Alan!" Phil explained.

"Phil, just do something." Said Stu. Seriously, why is this a big deal. We can just get out of the car and wave the bag around. So Phil turns the lights on and off, showing them that the deal is still on. Surprisingly enough, all three thugs jump out of the car.

"Okay, wow, I guess that worked... except we could have just got out of the car FIRST and showed them the fucking bag!" I called out while climbing out of the Mercedes broken window, causing the three to glare at me confused. I ignored them and carefully moved to the front of the car with the bag in my hands. Out of nowhere, I hear a loud thud behind me. I turned to see Alan laying on the ground holding his back, just as the little Asian man laughs.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Funny fat guy fall..." He said hysterically. Now instead of the suit, he was wearing white pants and a white undershirt, while wearing an orange jacket, and his eyes were covered by shades. He just more gay than anyone could imagine. With all of us out of the car, he begins to speak. "Alright. You boys bring me my money?" He asked.

I turned to Phil and Stu behind me and said, "Let me do the talking this time... why yes we do, but just hold on a minute. We didn't get your name last night." I said.

"Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow." Mr. Chow, the little Asian man said.

"Well it's nice to meet you Mr. Chow. I'm Ryan, these are my friends here, along with the one you kidnapped. I'd like to say, good morning to ya. How are you doing and all?"

"Oh doing well Mr. Wolfy." He said as he lowered his shades and winked at me.

I slightly cringe on that last part, but stayed calm. "Okay, Mr. Chow, before we hand the bag over, we'd like to see Doug first, to make sure that he's okay. He's suppose to get married today in like seven hours, and I just want to see him alive and well."

"Oh how sweet and all, sure, it's cool." Then Chow spoke something strange that I'm not even sure it was Chinese or anything. The backdoor to their car opens, and shows us Doug, still with the bag over his head.

"Oh thank God." I muttered. No signs of blood or anything. He's still okay.

"Now, you give me money and I give you Doug. Or if you don't, then I shoot him, then I'll shoot aaalllll you motherfuckers, then teabag you Mr. Lone Wolf, and finally take the bag." Chow threatened as one of his goons showed us his piece in his coat.

"Whoa! Okay! Just take it easy. Here's your money!" I said swinging my arm back, then throwing the purse to Chow, but the man jumps back and squeals like a girl, just as one of his thugs catches the bag. "Oh nice arm you have Mr. Wolfy."

Egh! Again, that just freaked me out.

The goon finished looking in the purse and said. "It's all in there."

"Okay, release him." Chow said, as the other goon let's go of Doug and slowly both started to walk over to us.

"Thanks for backing me up by the way guys." I joked, causing Phil and Stu to giggle.

"Don't mention it Ryan." Said Alan.

I formed a smirk. Oh Alan how you amaze us all...

"Finally, we can get the fuck out of here and get to the wedding." Said Phil while he rubbed his neck.

Yes Phil, we can get the hell out of here and go back home. Get Doug married, get you Phil back to your wife and son, get Stu back to his relationship with... well Stu can deal with his shit, and Alan can go back home to being the strange man in his family. And I can go back to college and continue to teach, hopefully the video Lars posted is no more.

Just as the two arrived, I immediately knew something was off though. I don't know why, but it just felt wrong. We haven't catched a break ever since this shit started at the hotel. Why was I feeling this strange feeling?

I think I might have catched it too late, cause as the thug grabbed the bag, I noticed that Doug looked a bit taller... he was about a bit an inch smaller than me... so wait a sec-

Again, too late, as the bag was pulled off, not only I heard a "Ta-Da!" from Chow, but instead of Doug, we got a black guy with tape wrapped around his mouth.

Stu jumped back in surprise. "Gah! Who is this?" He cried out as suddenly we all jumped into the same business.

"This isn't our Doug!" Said Phil.

"What are you talking about Willis? It's him!" Said Chow.

"No sir, it's not! The Doug we're looking for is a bit shorter... and he's uh..." Said Stu as the black guy tries telling us that he is our friend by nodding his head. Wait, does he know us.

"The Doug we're looking for is a white!" Said Alan.

"Alan. Don't do that." I said. Sorry, it just sounded wrong how he said it.

The thug ripped the tape off of this guy's mouth, who only grunted from the rip, then called out to Chow. "I told you ya got the wrong guy little man!" Then he turned to us and looked at Alan with anger and confusion. "Dammit Alan what the fuck did you get me into?!"

"Wait? You know this guy?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, this is the guy who gave me the bad drugs." Alan answered. So this is the guy who gave Alan the roofies to drug us?

"What? I didn't give you no bad drugs." Said "Doug".

"Uh, yeah you did asshole. You're the one who gave us Ruphylin last night!" Said Stu. Well, at least Stu can get his sweet revenge on the guy who gave Alan the drugs last night.

"Wait? Ruphyl- What?"

"Who gives a shit! Where is Doug?!" I cried out.

"I am Doug!" "Doug" said.

"Oh how funny, his name is Doug too! Classic mix-up." Said Alan

Phil and I looked back at Chow, who along with his goons, were preparing to leave.

"CHOW! You gave us the wrong guy!" Phil called out.

"Not my problem." Said Chow.

"NO! Fuck that shit! Now you give us back our eighty grand and you take this punk with you!"

"No, come on man, I'll be your Doug." Said "Doug". I just put my hands on my head in frustration. We did everything right, and we still don't have Doug.

"Hmm, okay, you can have the money back... after you suck on these Chinese NUTS!" Chow cried out by holding his sack, causing us to just groan in disgust.

"Oh that's just nasty." "Black" Doug muttered.

"Mmm-mmm! You all like that huh?... would have loved to get a kiss from you Ryan, but I'm good. So long! Gay boys!" And with that, Chow enters his car, and they take off, leaving us without Doug.

"GODDAMMIT!" Phil cried out kicking the dirt.

"Gosh darn it!" Alan coppied him.

"SHIT!"

"Shoot!"

I turned around to forcefully grab the keys from Phil's hands and walked over to the wrong Doug. "Come here you son of a bitch!" I grabbed his shirt and took him to the car before roughly tossing him through the open window. I entered the passenger's side and started up the car. Phil enters the driver's seat and asks me, "What are you doing kid?"

"Just shut up... and drive." I said quietly, and very angry."

Alan and Stu enter the back seats on Phil's side, and we drove off.

"Stop somewhere near Vegas so we can pull over. We need to end this now."

* * *

After we stopped, I went outside and stood in a sand section, waiting for Phil to arrive next to me. "Ryan what are you doing?" He asked.

"Get your phone out. Mines dead. Call Tracy. Tell her we fucked up, and it's all my fault." I said.

"Ryan, no, I'm not putting the blame on you."

"IT IS PHIL! I told her I promised that everything is going to be okay and we'll have Doug back in no time! Instead, we just hit a dead-end! We got no more clues. We have no more options, and we're out of time. We failed Phil. I failed. Now call her and tell Tracy about everything. And make sure she knows I'm responsible for what happened." I slowly walked back to the car, just at Phil calls to me again.

"Hey! What the fuck are you going to do then if it's over?!"

"I don't know, I might just quit my job, move to another state, get a new teaching job or something, maybe I might just move here to Vegas and just go jump off a fucking building!" I finished as I returned to the car just in time to see Stu walking up to the other Doug we "saved".

"So... I got a question for you." He said. Okay, he's not going to kill him.

"What's up?" "Doug" asked.

"How did you wind up in Chow's car?"

"That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday."

I jumped in. "But why? Why did he take you?" I asked.

"He thought I was with you guys because we were hanging over at the Bellagio. We were shooting craps. Remember?" Said "Doug".

"Well that explains the receipt you had yesterday morning." I said.

"Okay it kinda does, but no. No, we don't remember anything. Because some dick drug dealer sold him!..." Stu said pointing at Alan. "...Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy."

"Ruphylin. There you go with that word. Ruphylin. What the hell is Ruphylin?" Said "Doug".

"Holy shit your are the world's shittiest drug dealer. You realize that? Ruphylin, a.k.a. Roofies, for your information, is commonly known as the date rape drug. And you sold Alan those." I explained.

"Oh shit. I must have mixed the bags. My fault Alan." "Doug" said, clearly regretting what he did.

"Whatever." Stu said looking away as I turned back and looked at Phil, as he started to talk to Tracy. Goddamn I'm screwed. Everything I had, is about to be destroyed, all because of one simple bachelor party. And we couldn't handle ourselves and got drugged.

All I started to think about was what I'm going to do next. Either I'll start a new, pathetic life, or just go kill myself by jumping out the window at Ceasers once we get our stuff... oh wait a minute, those windows don't open. Damn that guy lifting Doug's mattress off the statue, he must of thought differently, cause the only way to get that mattress onto the statue was to take it to the roof, and throw it. So wait a minute, why would a mattress off a roof? I mean the only way someone would do that is if their really drunk or if they got stuck cause of that one door-

It suddenly just hit me.

"Wait. Hold on. What did you just say?" Stu asked "Doug". Did he just figure it out too?

"Rabies." Said Alan, thinking Stu said it to him.

"Not you. Doug. What did you say before?"

"I said groundies." He answered.

"No before that. You said, "You're more likely to wind upon the floor, than... PHIL!" Stu suddenly rushed towards Phil and tackled him to the ground, knocking the phone out of his hands.

With this sudden revelation Stu just figured out, I quickly went for Phil's phone and placed it on my ear.

"_Phil? Hello?" _She sounded really pissed.

"TRACY! It's me! Ryan!" I said.

"_Ryan, talk to me. What is going on?"_

"Nothing. Don't listen to Phil. He got drunk again, you know, pfft and shit, he's completely out of his mind." I lied.

"_Where's Doug? You have a lot of explaining to do!"_

"He's paying the bill, we had a delicious brunch. Look I'm sorry I didn't call, but right now we're in a hurry to get back! We'll see you soon! Bye!" And I quickly hung up as Stu helped up Phil.

"I KNOW WHERE DOUG IS!" He cried out.

* * *

"I don't know, man. It just hit me." Said Stu as Phil drove madly fast back to Vegas with all four of us, including "Doug". "You remember when we saw Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?"

"Yeah, we threw it out the window." Said Phil.

"No! Impossible! You can't open windows in Vegas hotels! That guy that told us was just a dumbass." I said.

"Well, then how did it get?...  
OH MY GOD!" Suddenly all of us, except for Alan and "Doug", just realized where Doug might be.

"Whoa, wait. What's going on?" Alan asked.

"Doug was trying to signal someone." Said Stu.

"So he must have been stuck so he threw it. God I can't believe it took us that long!" I said.

"What do you mean?" Phil asked.

"I was about to say there's a possibility where Doug might be at, but Stu quickly knocked your ass to the ground."

"Oh... so how'd you guys figure it out then?"

"I just thought of suicide, and for once it actually helped out."

"Actually, Doug made me realize it." Said Stu.

"Doug?" Phil asked again.

"Not our Doug. Black Doug."

"Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on." Said "Doug".

"We're not racist. Relax." I said.

"Can someone tell me where white Doug is?" Alan asked. I slapped him on the head for saying that.

"He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there as a prank... so he'd wake up on the roof." said Stu.

"Like that time in summer camp. We moved his sleeping bag out in the jetty at the lake!" Said Phil.

I don't remember that since I was younger than they were, but I do remember one trip four of us (excluding Alan) took. "Or like that time we put his inflatable mattress on top of my Dad's RV!" I pointed out.

"Yeah, both which were hilarious... but it's not so funny now though. Cause this time we forgot where we put him." Said Stu.

"You guys are retarded, you know that?" "Doug" muttered. I tapped his shoulder and pointed to Alan and whispered, "Just him."

"Holy shit. You think he's still up there?" Phil asked.

"Only one way to find out." Stu answered as we made our way to back to Vegas.

This time, for real, was our last chance to find Doug.

**I have nothing to say, but I will tell you I'm not a racist person. I love everyone.**

**Now please review. And I'll see you soon.**


	13. Race Against Time

**Well, this time I'm going to say a few things. One, nice to hear from ya again Residentkilla my old friend. And yeah, after watching the second Hangover, I would love to slap Alan around, but at least he redeems himself at the end.**

**And to xxxxninaxxxx and Muppetgirllover99. Yes there will be a sequel, and for early spoilers, it will feature not only Ryan's pov, but to many as well, plus, there will be another one added to the Wolfpack. And it's not Teddy.**

**Again, thanks to all who have reviewed, followed, and favored this. This may not be the best story I made so far, but has brought me a lot of joy.**

**Oh and I'm not going to do disclaimers on this one. It's just too damn annoying. I'll wait until the last chapter... oh wait, were almost there. DAMN IT!**

**Let's get this over with...**

Chapter 13: Race Against Time

We returned to Ceasar's Hotel in a flash. As soon as we were at the front parking lot, we immediately exited the vehicle, along with "Black Doug", but despite the anger I had towards him for giving Alan the wrong drugs, I turned to him and said, "Sorry about the mess man, but thank you for the tip you gave Stu!" I said to him as he waved goodbye before I rushed with the guys onto the rooftops.

We reached the elevators, but I didn't want to wait that long for it to come. There could be so many people in there that'll be in the way. So I rushed to the stairs instead... alone.

"Where the fuck are you going kid?" Phil called out.

"The elevator will take too long! I'm heading up the stairs!" I said.

"Relax, will be up there in no time."

"WE HAVE NO MORE TIME GODDAMMIT! Ugh! You guys are fucking moes!" Instantly out of instinct, I began to ascend the stairs...

* * *

...and I collapsed when it came to the last set. Immediately when I exited the door, I fell to the ground, breathing heavily, trying to catch some air.

And ironically enough, I turned and saw three men looking down at me.

"See kid, told you it wouldn't be long." Said Phil.

"Fuck... 'gasp!'... you Phil... 'gasp!'" I muttered while trying to regain my breath.

* * *

After that humiliating moment, I busted through the roof door, calling out for Doug. "DOUG! Doug you up here?!"

"Doug! Buddy where are you?!" Stu called out as Alan left the brick to hold the door open.

"DOUG! Come on out! It's us!" Phil cried out.

"GUYS! HE'S OVER HERE!" Stu again cried out as he rushed over to a vent system. Phil just took a deep breath of relief, as I rushed over to where Stu was, and FUCK YES! Doug was there, sitting down by the vent systems in the shade. I instantly fell to my knees, raised my arms and looked into the sky, praising God that we found him. I looked back at my best friend to see him- HOLY SHIT! DAMN is his skin on fire! The poor bastard was trapped up here for over a day and he looked like he came out of an oven!

"Oh buddy, we gotta go!" Stu said helping Doug up, though I don't know if that was a good idea. Last time I had sunburn I caught the flu.

"We've looked everywhere for ya bud." I said to him, but he looked like he had no idea what the hell was going on.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Doug cried out, as if he's a day behind of the shit we've been through.

"Hey buddy. You looking good, you got some skin color there. I'm jealous." Said Phil, trying to calm the situation down. I got up and moved behind him to let out a small laughter. How he said it was just so damn funny.

"You feeling okay?" Alan asked. I don't think that was the right question to ask dummy.

"No... I'm getting married today guys." Said Doug, sounding a little sad.

"Right Doug, that's why we need you to stay focus, and do everything we say, cause frankly, your wasting a little bit of time right now." Said Phil.

"...YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" I turned around to see Doug jumping right into Phil, which caused them to collide into me, sending all three of us into the roof ground. Doug immediately jumped off touching his burned skin as I let out a small, gasping noise.

"Phil... your elbow is in my nuts... get off please." I said trying to hold it in.

"OH MY SKIN BURNS!" Doug cried out. Phil rolled off me, along with his elbow as I clutched my nuts and stood.

Alan placed his hand on Doug's face, saying, "It's okay. It's not your fault Doug." But was slapped away by Doug's, who just glared at us all.

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me... just... just get me home."

* * *

"So what happened this whole time? Why did it take you so long to find me?" Doug asked me as I pushed the wheelchair he's sitting in.

After, painfully, removing him from the rooftops, we had everything packed and ready to go, got a wheelchair for Doug, until we leave Vegas. The only two main problems were, 1: we didn't have any suits for the wedding, and 2: we don't have a flight yet to take us back home. We had three and a half hours to get to the wedding, and we don't have time to screw around.

At the same time, I had to answer Doug's questions. "We looked all over the city for ya, and it led us into a lot of trouble and shit... other than Mike Tyson." I said.

"Wait, Tyson? _THE _Mike Tyson?" Doug asked.

"Yup... and when we met, he knocked Alan the fuck out."

"That had to be pretty painful."

"Oh yeah, how about getting a concussion, shot in the arm, tazed by kids, beaten with a crow bar to the ribs, back, leg, and side jaw, and finally a tiger clawing into your neck?... oh and punched by a security guard." I explained as I showed him all the beauty marks I received in over 24 hours.

"What happened to you?"

"Vegas."

"You guys all said and done?" Phil asked us as we exited the hotel doors.

"All good. Also got this stuff. Solar Caine Spray, quickly removes sunburns in a day." I said pulling out a can and putting it into Doug's hands.

"What the fuck happened to Sid's car?!" Doug cried out, horrified of the damage. Phil and Alan, who were trying to put the roof down, slowly turned their heads nervously to Doug. We completely forgot that Doug was in charge of the Mercedes, and he forbidden us to drive it.

Letting out a cough, Phil told him the truth. "Well, last night when we took the tiger back to Mike Tyson, the tiger woke up and clawed Ryan, who pushed into me and I swerved into a bus." He explained. Wrong words.

Doug turns to me with a horrified look in his face, then sends a fist into my nuts.

"OH! Not again!" I moaned in agony.

"What about the flight after that? Fuck!" Stu screamed as he walked right next to us, shutting off his phone.

"What's wrong?" Alan asked, clearly not caring about the pain I'm in.

"Every flight to L.A. Is booked."

"What about Burbank?" Phil asked.

"Sold out."

"Fuck! We can't drive there, the wedding starts in three and a half hours!"

"No, we can drive there. We can make it okay?"

"Stu, you realize we have to drive at like a hundred miles an hour to get there, cause if we drive the normal fast rate people drive these days, we'll be over an hour late. If we drive over a hundred then it could come close, but we can't get caught by the cops on the road either. If we do, then we're totally fucked." I explained. Phil, Alan, and Doug looked at me with puzzled looks on their faces. "I'm a math teacher for Christ's sake. Look that shit up." I told them. As I looked away, I noticed Jade sitting on a bench, waving to Stu. "Hey buddy, it's your wife." I pointed to her.

Stu nodded and told us, "Just give me one second."

"We will leave without you!" Phil warned him. I looked back at Doug who just stares oddly at Stu.

"Is he missing a tooth?" He asked.

Quickly me, Phil, and Alan just nodded and laughed. "Yeah he is." Said Alan.

"Okay buddy it's time for you to get in." I told Doug while reaching down, and using all my might, I lifted him up bridal style and over the car... but I accidentally slipped, and he went crashing down into the seat... crying.

"OW! Watch the sunburn!" He cried out.

"Oh shut up! Not my fault I have to carry someone by myself...Alan is that thing down yet?!" I turned to Alan, who was struggling to put the overhead roof down.

"Not yet." He answered.

"It's good, get in." Said Phil hopping into the driver's seat.

"No, safety first."

"Alan, it's fine. It's down."

"No, I gotta get it down first." Alan suddenly jumped on top of the car and stomped the piss out of the roof.

"Jesus, look out." I said, telling Doug to watch out if Alan's fat ass falls onto him.

"Don't mess up the car." Said Doug. I hopped in next to Doug and buckled in.

"Already fucked up Doug. Let's just go home."

Phil patted on the windshield to get Stu's attention, as Alan repeats the process. "Stu!" Phil called out.

"Stu!" Alan copied.

"Come on!"

"Come on!"

Phil looks at him with a "really?" face.

After he finished saying his possible goodbyes to Jade, at least I presume, Stu rushed to the car and hopped in on Doug's other side.

Now it was us against time.

* * *

The wind was blowing my hair back as Phil drove like a maniac at 100 mph. With all this heat going on, the wind felt so good on mine and Doug's faces, but I could only enjoy so little of it, since we have only three hours till the wedding.

"So Stu." I called to him while I smirked. "How'd everything go with your wife?"

"We agreed that I'd take her out on a date, maybe next weekend or something." He answered.

I smiled in delight. Looks like he's finally ditching that cheating bitch Melissa. Good job Stu, your finally growing up...

"His wife?" Doug asked.

"He got married when this fuck up here drugged us." Said Phil.

"And unlike Melissa, she doesn't beat him, cheat on him, annoy him, all in all she doesn't treat him like shit." I put out.

"Well at least the trip wasn't a total disaster." Doug added.

"What makes you say that?" Alan asked.

"When I woke up on the roof... I happened to find a large amount of Bellagio chips in my pocket. Worth about $80,000!"

We all suddenly turned to the chips in Doug's hand, and immediately we knew whose chips they were... and revenge never felt so good! All of us hollered in joy, since all that hard-earned work we did last night did not end in vain for us.

"With all that, we can split it $16,000 each!" I said.

"Yup, we're going home with some money boys."

* * *

After an hour, we entered a highway that I remembered where Alan was flipped off by the little girl, along with the interesting conversation two days ago. So we were making up some time.

A white van honked at us before coming up to our side. The side door opened, revealing a man with long hair and goatee.

"Hey Neeco!" Alan cried out.

"Hey, what's up Alan?" He said back.

Out of nowhere he started to toss us packages, first to Alan, then to Stu, then to Doug, then to-

"WHOA! Look out!" Neeco shouted out.

Phil looked ahead to see a car heading straight towards us.

"OH SHIT!" He cried out while swerving over. After nearly getting hit, Neeco resumed tossing packages, by tossing one to me, then to Phil before he prepared to close the doors.

"Thanks Neeco!" Alan thanked the man.

"You got it man!" He said back while trying to close the door.

"Page me!"

"Adios!"

"Who the hell was that guy?" Phil asked.

"That's my buddy." Said Alan.

We managed to get to L.A. Within the hour we got our new wedding tux's. We pulled over to switch out of our dirty clothes we wore, and changed into the tux's. It took us about five minutes easily, even with Doug's skin burn... but Alan still didn't have his pants on.

All four of us except for Alan jumped back into the car, but Alan still wasn't ready.

"Just get your pants on when you get in here, now come on!" Stu cried out as Phil shifted the car into drive.

Of course we didn't leave Alan behind.

* * *

One more hour later, we we're so close to Sid's home. I was all ready and cleaned as the guys were finishing up with their touches, like shaving or putting their socks on, or in Alan's case, putting his pants back on.

"Ryan! How much time?!" Phil called back to me.

"Ten minutes!" I told them. Yes, this whole time, because of my knowledge of math, I kept track of time.

"Okay, once we get there, you run in and tell Sid and Tracy the wedding is still on. Got it?" Doug explained.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" I said back to him.

* * *

The moment I saw the house, my heart started to beat incredibly faster than usual.

We managed to reach the wedding with only less than ten minutes left on the clock.

We managed to beat the time getting there...

...we managed to beat Vegas, no matter the odds we went through. We found Doug, got some revenge on Chow by keeping his money, and made it back home just in time for what could be the best day of Doug's life.

"Ready... go!" The guys shouted as I jumped out of the Mercedes and rushed into the house.

I turned to look at one of Tracy's hot bridesmaids and asked, "Where are they?!"

She pointed to the end of the hallway, causing my legs to quickly head towards where they're at.

The moment I reached the end, I felt my feet give out and somehow slipped onto the floor.

"Ow..." I said weakly. Looking to my left was all three of them, Sid, his wife, and Tracy. I quickly stood up, brushed my suit, then told them, "Sorry, Map Quest took us on a really crazy route... the wedding is on!"

"Oh thank goodness." Said Sid as he and his wife looked very happy, but Tracy walked up to me, and out of nowhere, and for no clear reason, she thrusted her knee into my nuts, sending me into the ground again.

"OOH! Why the fuck does this keep happening to me?!" I groaned in agony... again... how many times today did I get whacked in the nuts?

All I knew was, surprisingly, all three of them, including Tracy, helped me back onto my feet. Tracy my head so I could look at her face-to-face. "You have a lot to explain later... but for now, lets just get me and Doug married, shall we?" He asked.

I slowly nodded as I walked away, still clutching my nuts.

**We are getting close. Only two chapters left, and the story is complete! All that's left now is the wedding, and the epilogue.**

**I was suppose to finish this chapter a few days ago, but for some reason, my laptop just kept overheating and shutting me off!**

**So hopefully I can publish the last two in just a few days. See you all later.**


	14. The Wedding

**Now comes the big one... the wedding... and the change of all five of our protagonist's... well except Alan... and a new face is shown, changing the life of one forever.**

**Since I'm near the end, here's the disclaimer. I don't own the Hangover, I own Ryan and Penny.**

Chapter 14: The Wedding.

For a while I stood between Stu and Alan as the "Here comes the bride" theme begins to play, as Sid begins to walk down the aisle with his arm around Tracy. Both had smiles on their faces, but deep down inside I knew Sid understood our situation, since he once told me that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... except Herpes, that shit comes back with ya.", while Tracy on the other hand, while she was very excited, she was also very upset, wondering what the hell we we're going through.

I looked at Alan, hoping to ask if he can back me up later when we tell Tracy, but I noticed his hair looked a bit familiar. "Did you change your do?" I quietly asked.

"Yeah, how does it look? Like classic Phil?" He asked.

I let out a soft chuckle and looked at Phil, before turning back to Alan. "Yeah, like classic Phil."

Tracy was up on top of the altar with Doug, as Sid shook his hand, winked at him and muttered, "Vegas."

Before he went to his seat, he caught my attention and I silently mouthed to him, "Vegas." and he nodded with a smile.

Just hope he didn't suffer the same shit we went through.

As I was thinking about that thought however, I heard Tracy speak to Doug. "Where were you, and why are you so red?" She asked.

That earned all four of us groomsmen a slight chuckle. Doug is so damn red right now...

"Honey it's a long story." Said Doug as the priest began the ceremony. "All I know is I am so sorry, and I promise, for as long as we're married... to never, ever put you through anything like this again... can you forgive me?"

That just touched my heart as I saw Tracy smile and reached for Doug's hand, uniting them as the priest slowly got to the part where they needed to say the special two words.

All I could think and remember this moment, was watching my both of best friends saying "I do."

* * *

"The Dan band? No fucking way..." I muttered as Dan began to sing.

(The Dan Band- Candy shop)

Yeah Uh Huh. So seductive.

I'll take you the candy shop  
I'll let you lick the lollipop  
Go 'head girl, don't you stop  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) (bis)

The music sounded so good, even though Dan was eventually going to start singing his strange sexual lyrics... well he already has started, but who cares, I fucking love these guys. I turned to see Doug and Tracy dancing together, which brought a happy smile to my face.

You can have it your way, how do you want it  
you gon' back that thing up or should I push up on it  
I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple

Okay, Sid hired these guys, and he's staring at them with a questionable look as he dances with his wife... I don't really want to ask myself more about his decisions.

If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho  
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor  
Have your friends teasing you 'bout how sprung I gotcha  
Wanna show me how you work it baby, no problem  
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider  
I'm a seasons vet when it come to this shit  
After you work up a sweat you can play with the stick  
I'm trying to explain baby the best way I can  
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands

I never felt so relieved ever since Tracy texted me to keep an eye on Doug. It was my responsibility to keep him safe. Even with the setbacks, no, who am I kidding, the hell we went through, me and the boys managed to get Doug home and saved the wedding.

I don't know why Sid even hired these guys, when everyone knows how offensive they are despite that they're good.

I headed towards the mini-bar in the back where Stu and Alan were, as I noticed that Phil was walking towards his wife and son. To my surprise, he turned his wife around, kissed her dead spot on the lips, then lifted her up... and continued to kiss her.

So Phil, you've finally grown up and became a husband and father.

"Daddy!" His son cried out.

"Excuse me, but I'm waiting for my husband." His wife said.

"Ha-ha, very funny. Come here little man." Phil said picking up his son. "How was your soccer game?"

"Guys." I called to Alan and Stu.

"Hey Ryan. Come over here and have a drink." Said Stu.

"No thank you, I've had enough. I'm going to get myself a soda or something else."

"Hate to be the error of bad news... or to break it to ya... how do they say it Stu?" Alan asked.

"Alan, they only serve alcohol here, don't they?" I asked. He nodded, much to my anger. All I want is to drink something, but not that... but I had no choice either. "Do you have any beer bottles?"

They pointed to a nearby bar. I walked up to the bartender and asked, "Any budwiser, coor's light, or something please."

"You old enough?" The guy asked.

I've had enough of that. "First my students, then all the babes I find, then Vegas, and now you. Yes, I'm fucking old enough to drink. I just came back from one of the worst weekends I ever had, I got drugged by a childish maniac, I got a tattoo of the man's face on my back, I got beaten to shit so many times, abused by cops, clawed by a tiger, threatened by a gangster, and worst of all, ran around the city naked, can I please have a bottle?!" I said back to him albeit rudely. He was quite shocked by my words, but quickly handed me a bottle.

"Don't drink too much." He muttered.

"Yeah, already figured that one out." I sat down by a small white covered table, exhausted of everything that happened. I took a deep breath and uncorked the cap off the bottle, and took a quick sip. After tasting it, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes.

"That story about you getting beaten to shit. That was really interesting if you asked me."

I lifted my head straight up to see a young woman, about my age, same height, wearing a beautiful white dress, stood there in front of me. Her hair was a mix of golden blonde and brunette, which was straight shoulder length, which heavily resembles Kaley Cuoco's hair, and her face was just, incredibly beautiful.

"Is this seat taken?" She asked.

"Uh... no, help yourself." I said as I stood up and moved the chair out, offering it to her.

"Thank you." She sat down as I did at the same time. I don't know why, but I felt so nervous by her presence. All I tried to do was look away and drink, but she started a conversation with me. "So, what brings you here?" She asked.

With no other choice, I spoke. "You see those guys?" I asked, pointing to Phil and his family sitting down, then to Stu and Alan by the bar, and finally at Doug. "All four of them are my best friends. A pack we made together... a Wolfpack, formed by that doofus over there." I pointed back to Alan, who was enjoying his time with Stu. "And more importantly... I'm the fourth groomsman."

"Really? No wonder why you looked so familiar." She said, though judging by her facial expressions, that wasn't the answer she was supposed to say. It's like she knows me or something...

"So... what brings _you _here?" I asked while smirking.

"See that chick next to your buddy?" She pointed, to my shock, Tracy.

"Yeah, that's another friend of mine." I answered.

"Well when I was young, she and her dad were friends to my family, and she babysat me when I was young."

"Your kidding?"

"Nope. She was the best babysitter anyone could have... and because of that, I got invited to the wedding."

"Nice... I'm Ryan." I held out my hand, offering her a handshake.

"Penny. Penny Reed." She said taking my hand. "What's your last name?"

"Leikness."

"As in, Mr. Ryan Leikness of algebra?"

My eyes widened in surprise. "Wait? You know me?"

"I go to the same school, as a student, and I heard about you so many times, but when I tried to sign up for your class, my friends kept telling me your teaching was boring and all, but I didn't believe that. In fact I remember someone telling me about your awesome lecture on PI."

"...You're a student?" Now it suddenly hit me. I've seen her around the university, but with all the work and conflicts I've gone through, I never could remember any of the school's faces... then again, why would I try to remember their faces, those people don't give a shit about my classes... except her, since she just said she wanted to be in my classes.

"Yeah, surprised?"

"Yeah, I am actually."

"I've been really wanting to meet you."

Again, my eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I mean, why?"

"Just wondering how a young guy like you became a professor at our university. It just seems so... fascinating."

I'll take you to candy shop  
I'll let you lick the lollipop  
Go 'head girl, don't you stop  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot! (woah!)

Fuck it! Give it to me baby, nice and slow  
Climb on top, ride like you in the rodeo  
You ain't never hear a sound like this before  
Cause I ain't never put it down like this before.

I don't know why, but now I'm really starting to get interested in this girl... even though it was against my rules at college: don't get interested in your students, or else something bad might happen.

Like I told the guys earlier, I don't want to start anything with a female student of mine, cause I'm worried it might turn into a relationship and when the board finds out about it, they'll fire me and I'll lose my career, and I'll never work in that field again.

For some reason, the bad side of me was winning... just like in Vegas. "Really? I never had any student be fascinated by my classes. I put up a lot of effort teaching them more, but they don't really care for some reason." I said.

"EXCUSE ME! MOVE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!"

Oh no...

I looked behind Penny as she turned her head to see what I saw... pure evil.

"Who is that?" Penny asked.

"Hell walking towards us." I simply said.

And the evil walking, excuse me, I meant shoving and smacking people out of her way, was Melissa heading towards Stu. All we could do was watch her shove a poor guy drinking wine, causing him to spill most of it on his shirt. Fuck she's such a bitch. But all that was going to change as she headed right for Stu and Alan.

"Excuse me for a second, I gotta help my friend." I said to her as I got up and headed for the three.

As I reached them, I noticed that Melissa noticed the tooth and shoved his mouth open.

"That is disgusting! Why haven't you returned my calls?" She demanded.

"Well, there was a snafu when we stopped..." Stu lied to cover his mistake, but clearly this isn't going to end well.

"I called that bed and breakfast in Napa. They said they had no record of you even checking in!"

"...That's because we didn't go to Napa." Finally Stu! Admitting the truth for once!

"Stu. What the FUCK is going on?!" I turned around to see Phil, his wife and son, who he put his hands on his ears, stared at the shocking scene, along with the crowd among us. You know for a bitch, she doesn't have any manners, especially around kids.

"Hey watch it! There's a kid over there!" I put out pointing to Phil's son. But clearly she wasn't too fond of my words.

"You! You stay out this. And who gives a fuck about that kid!" She roared at me. My jaw drops in disbelief. Who invited this horrid monster?

"You know, you should be nice around my friend there. And second, we went to Las Vegas." Stu interrupted, getting Melissa's attention back.

"Oh, really? Las Vegas? And your still friends with that kid? Why would you be friends with him and go to Las Vegas?"

"Because my best-friend out there is friends with him, and was getting married, that's what guys do!"

"Okay, that's not what you do!" She replied very angrily, poking his chest.

"Really? Well then, why did I do it, huh? Because I did it! Riddle me that!"

I am so proud of you Stu. I turned to look at Phil, who could only smile in happiness, thinking like how I was thinking. When he turned to me, I mouthed to him, "Our boy is grown up." Phil could only chuckle as he went back looking at Stu's manliness, while I begin to head back to Penny.

"Why'd I do it? All you want me to do is what you want me to do. I'm SICK of doing what you want." Stu continued as I sat back down next to Penny. "In a healthy relationship, a guy should be able to do what he wants."

"THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS!" Melissa screamed.

"JESUS H CHRIST!" I cried out as everyone, including the Dan Band stop at the sudden roar of Melissa.

"OH GOOD! BECASUE WHATEVER THIS IS, IT AIN'T WORKING FOR ME!" Stu shouted back at her.

"Oh really? SINCE WHEN?!"

"Since you FUCKED that waiter on your cruise last June. BOOM!" Stu slammed his fist into the table in victory... while I slapped my head. Seriously, now he too doesn't remember?!

"You idiot! It was a BARTENDER!" I called to him.

"Oh, Ryan's right, I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender." Stu said back to her.

"Your an idiot." Melissa said pathetically.

"You're... agh! You... mmm... your... eh, your just a rotten person, like your the devil's daughter or something. So evil like Ryan's mother, all the way down to your core... Alan, shall we dance?" Stu asked him as he left. He looked at the Dan Band and said to them, "LET'S DO THIS!"

At that moment, the band restarted and went into a frenzy, as everyone resumed dancing. A moment later, Alan came back out, along with Phil, and all four of them were in their circle hugging each other.

"Your friend's are quite... interesting Ryan." Said Penny.

"Yeah, one's a guy who thought his life had issues but... today, he finally found happiness when he married Tracy... the guy with his wife and kid, he hated everything about it, but soon he found out he had to grow up and be responsible... the other guy was going to die with that evil over there, until he finally maned up and fought back... and that one over there..." I looked at Alan and smiled... it just came to me that I never liked Alan this whole time... until now. "He's the reason why we're all so happy right now. If it wasn't for him, I would never have felt so... alive." I said as I looked back at her. "Now, I was wondering if you um... if you'd like to dance with me." I offered.

"RYAN! Get over here!" Doug called to me.

"Aw shit... well I would still like..."

"Go to them... your friends need you right now. When the time comes, then we'll dance." She said, much to my joy. I immediately got off the chair and rushed to my three... no, four best friends anybody could have, and we all embraced each other, and it never felt so awesome.

* * *

As soon as our celebration ended, a soft music started to play, and it reminded me to go back and ask Penny if she would like to dance. So that's what I did next by walking up to her and asking if she wanted to.

She said yes.

So I held out my hand, and she gently took it... her hands felt so warm, and soft. She was simply amazing in my eyes. I "escorted" her out onto the dance floor, and soon I got into the dancing rythem.

Not only was she a good dancer as well, but the way she looked at me was... I just can't describe.

After a few long minutes, the song ended, until another one played. She wanted to head back to the table, but I held her hand, much to her surprise. "How about another song?" I asked softly. She smiled as we resumed.

* * *

As nighttime approached, me and Penny held hands as we walked away from everyone else and headed towards a small deck outside on Sid's beautiful lawn, both exhausted from a long dancing we shared together.

"So, what do you want to do when you get out of college?" I asked.

"Looking for something, like psychology, help those who have personal issues." She said. Nice choice actually, someone wanting to help those who have troubles. Surprisingly when I wanted a job, I wanted to help those who were abused, mentally and physically, or have family/marriage issues.

"I'd go for that. I noticed in my classes I saw a few who can't even use their pencils to write, all because their afraid their mother's with pencils. They could use someone like you." I said.

"Aw, thank you." She said.

"Hey, listen, I know this sounds a bit odd... and a little wrong, cause even though we're the same age... and you're a student, and I'm a teacher/professor and all... but I would-" Then she cut me off.

"If your asking for a date, you got it."

I was stunned by her words. "I- gah- whatcha- do- huh- wha-?" I stuttered as she laughs.

"Can you speak English please?" She asked while giggling.

"Uh... yes, that was my question. Would you like to go out with me... and as long as you don't do anything-"

"I promise I won't use you to cheat on anything like pop-quizes and tests. Besides I'm a straight A and B student. You got nothing to worry about."

"Oh thank God..."

"I can tell you've had trouble with your students. Sometimes the boys think your boring, while the girls think your cute. And they only want you for sex and good grades. Right?"

"You have no idea." I told her as we reached the small deck. I sat down and offered her a seat right next to me... but surprisingly, she sat down on my lap. "Uh..." I could only use before she put a finger on my lips.

"Don't worry, just giving you a comfortable time. I saw you through the wedding and you looked like crap. Not to mention the bruises you got on your face. So I hoped I could help you by giving you a nice time, the dances, the talk, right now. You know, since I wanna be a psychiatrist and all."

"Oh..." I simply said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Man I'm tired... let me take a rest..." Then she fell asleep... she is simply amazing if anyone asked me.

"I find you to be... incredible..." I told her... until I hear a soft snore. "Wow... I must of tired you out on the floor or something..."

As she slept on top of me, I Doug, Stu, and Phil with his sleeping son wrapped around him, walked over to where I was at.

"Sup guys?" I said to them.

"Well well, look at you buddy, finally found yourself a girl... a rather hot one if you ask me." Said Phil as he sat down along with the others who had beer bottles.

He handed me a beer bottle as I jokingly flip him off. "She drank too much." I lied. "But she's very sweet. And the best news is I'll see her again tomorrow... and the next day... and the next day... and the next day." I said.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Stu asked.

"Turns out buddy, she goes to the same university I go to, and she's the only one who likes my classes."

"I thought you said you weren't into your students?" Doug asked.

"I wasn't, but, I thought, the hell with it. I'll take my chances." The guys let out a small chuckle as we took a breather and relaxed. "Dougie... I gotta tell you buddy, this was a gorgeous wedding." I added.

"I give it six months." Said Phil.

"You're a dick." Said Stu, laughing a little.

"I don't know what to say, but thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?" Said Doug.

"Yeah. I just wish we could actually remember some of it." I said.

"Hey guys. Check this out!" Alan walked up to us as he had a flower on his ear, along with a camera in his hand.

"Whoa! Is that my camera?" Stu asked.

"Yeah it is. I found it logged in the backseat of the car. And I just recharged it."

"Are there any pictures in it?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, and some of them are worst than we thought." Alan said with a grin on his face.

Suddenly, all of us, though I carefully pulled Penny off of me, stood up and Doug quickly snatched his camera.

"We gotta see what's in there." Said Phil.

"It holds the evidence of what happened that night." I said.

"I say we look at it once, then we delete them." Said Doug.

"I say we delete them now." Said Stu. Really?

"Are you kidding? I wanna see how I got in the hospital!" Said Phil.

"And I wanna see you guys giving me Alan's face on my back. Plus I wanna see how Stu lost his tooth." I said.

"Yeah I wanna see my face on his back too!" Said Alan.

"I pulled my own tooth out. Alan betted on it." Said Stu.

"Guys... we look at it once... then we delete it. Got it?"

We all looked at each other, and nodded. So Doug turned on the camera as all four of us looked on. He went to the selection and went for the pics of that night... as soon as pressed ok on the button... the first picture popped up.

"OH DEAR LORD!" Stu cried out as we all clamped our jaws shut in horror.

"That's classic!" Alan cried out.

**STAY TUNED! ONE MORE CHAPTER REMAINS! AND THE PICTURES AND RYAN'S AFTERMATH OF VEGAS WILL BE REVEALED!**

**Hope you enjoyed. Review please. See you all in the final chapter.**

**P.S. Just updated the chapter, in case I got it wrong.**


	15. The End For now

**This is it... this is the last chapter to my first Hangover!... and the first time I completed a multi-chapter story!**

**And the best part is, I'm going to credit all those who either favored, followed, and reviewed this story!**

**Now enjoy the final chap.**

**Chapter 15: The End... For now...**

**(Flo Rida-Right Round)**

Here's what we saw in the camera... and MAN where they fucked up...

_Alan with a topless woman._

_Stu and Jade (who's only in her bra and panties)._

_Mr. Chow pole dancing wildly with a woman._

_Phil lowering a lollipop in a girl's mouth._

_All five of us, including Chow, sitting down with a feather hat girl, posing while I hold Chow in a grapple hold._

_Phil and Stu tackle Chow and steal the bag._

_Jade doing seduction dances for Stu._

_A stripper laying upside down on Phil's lap, as she opens her legs, while Alan watches in surprise._

_More pics of the girl on Phil's lap, while Alan watches._

_Another stripper giving Alan a lap dance, who is only focused on his beeper, as I looked on confused._

_Stu and Jade on the pole together._

_Stu begins to pull out his tooth with pliers as Jade looks on in horror._

_Another shot of Stu struggling to get it out._

_Stu with his tooth out, teeth bleeding, but satisfied._

_Stu, Jade, and Alan laughing at the camera._

_Me laying on top of newspapers box dispenser naked (obviously from my streaking)._

_Alan, standing, sleeping with his chin on a parking lot toll booth._

_Stu drinking._

_Then Stu throws up on my body._

_I fall off the newspapers dispensers with puke on my naked body._

_Doug holding a shotgun next to the parked police car._

_Alan and me arresting Phil and a hot 30-year old-looking woman._

_Alan, arm wrapped around a sweet old lady, smiling like a goof._

_Alan firing the shotgun._

_Alan firing another, posing with his sunglasses._

_Phil fires next._

_I fire, blasting some lights off a sign._

_Alan playing craps._

_Chow kissing Alan's cheek._

_Alan sleeping on the craps table._

_Us in a limo, having an awesome time._

_Two girls kiss Alan's cheek._

_Stu flipping out with fucking Carrot Top._

_All of us with Carrot Top._

_I point out to Carrot Top, snorting cocaine._

_Alan getting his belly button pierced._

_Alan screaming in pain I believe._

_Close-up shot of pierce (shudders)..._

_All of us with Wayne Newton... though Stu looks pissed off._

_Phil holding Stu back as Wayne kicks him._

_I deliver a left hook to Newton's face, knocking him out._

_Alan under a fountain._

_Alan swimming in fountain._

_Alan, all wet, stands in fountain._

_Alan then looks under the woman statue garments._

_I'm on a table as Doug and Alan hold me hard, as Lars starts to draw on my back._

_I scream in pain from Lars drawing the ink on my back._

_Phil smashes his beer bottle on my head, knocking me out (explaining part of my concussion)._

_Stu begins to scribble Alan's beard on my back while drinking._

_Us together with Flash Gordon himself, Sam Jones._

_Phil starting to act like Ming._

_I put a circular neck thing around Phil's neck._

_Jones knocks Phil the fuck out (explaining his concussion)._

_Then Jones knocks me out, as if I'm at fault._

_Phil and me on hospital beds, both with head bandages._

_Alan and Stu laughing, as Stu points at Phil's erection._

_Phil sitting up, while laughing with Stu and Alan_

_Stu pulling the bullet out of my arm._

_Me laughing as I poke the hole in my arm._

_Mr. Chow getting a blow job._

_Doug sleeping on the roof._

_Alan pretending to butt-fuck him, while I pretend to tea-bag him._

_Mike Tyson sleeping with a woman._

_Stu and Phil next to a sleeping Tyson, whispering to be quiet._

_Phil pretending to knock out Tyson._

_Alan and I, sleeping and cuddling next to Tyson and the woman on his bed._

_Doug "riding" the tiger._

_The tiger wrapping his paw around Alan, who is laughing in joy._

_Doug, Stu, and Phil outside with the tiger inside the car._

_Me, sitting the tiger in the backseat, while I laugh in joy._

_Me putting my head inside the tiger's mouth while he yawns._

_Alan getting a blowjob._

_All five of us in the blue tuxedo's, holding Jade sideways in our arms._

_Stu giving Jade a piggy-back ride, while she shows off her ring._

_All five of us together, us five best friend's, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders._

_All pictures are then deleted._

* * *

"Holy shit." I muttered.

"What a night." Said Phil.

"So that explains everything." Said Alan.

"No duh Alan." Said Stu, glaring at him.

"It explains a lot." Said Doug.

"I can't believe we met Flash Gordon himself!" I said.

"FLASH! AHH! SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE!" Alan sang as we looked at him with "wtf?" looks on our faces.

"Stow it Alan. He sent both me and Phil to the hospital."

"No. Phil sent you to the hospital when he smashed that-"

"I think we know Alan." Said Doug.

"Alright... I've had enough of parties and weddings. I'm gonna pick up my kid and head home." Said Phil as he picked his son up in his arms, and left.

"And I want to hurry and get Melissa out of my house, and out of my life, forever." Stu said as he left.

"And I have to get back with my lovely wife." Said Doug as he too left. That just left me, Alan and the still sleeping Penny.

* * *

"Well I gotta go home and figure out what the hell I'm going to do tomorrow. I mean, with everything that happened, I'm not sure if I still have a job right now." I said to Alan while I rubbed my neck.

"I guess we can say goodbye then." Alan said silently, albeit sadly.

"Yeah, but I don't really say goodbye Alan. I say "see you later". After all I might call ya and ask if you wanna do something."

"So we can still hangout?"

"Of course we can still hangout. Your my fourth best-friend after all."

"I consider you to be my second best-friend."

"Heh, really?"

"Yeah, second to Phil."

"Oh... so just to let you know, this." I pointed to my back, where his goofy face was. "Has to go. You know that right?" I told him.

"Aww... but I like it." Alan whinned.

"I know, I know, so do I, but come on, who wants a tattoo of your best friend's face for the rest of your life? Plus, what would the girls think?"

"I would want it on."

"What did they do to your brain when you were young?"

* * *

Sooner or later, Alan left me and Penny alone, who just woke up from her deep sleep. I knew she was a bit tired, so I asked if she wanted a ride home, and she accepted.

* * *

I was very scared when I parked the car in the lot next to the university. I mean, I had no missed calls or any text messages or anything for the past two days, but that doesn't mean I'm safe, All I knew was today is going to be a living nightmare.

I collected my bag and supplies, then checked my looks: Still have the front sticking up and my beard was trimmed nicely. Clothes look clean, and shirt sleeves rolled up. I exited the car and made my way to the doors.

Upon entering, there was quite a few number of students and fellow teachers and professers staring at me. Not only was I scared (because constant and numerous eyes staring at me scares me), but it also made me realize one thing: They saw the fucking video of me naked.

Before I could make a step, Dean Jacob Sullivan, age 42, still looking young and keeping his hair brown, walked out of his office and pointed at me.

"Leikness. In my office. Now."

I am so FUCKED!

* * *

"Mr. Leikness. Is this you on the video?" He asked as he turned his laptop around and showed me the same video I asked Lars to delete. However, it was different, cause this time my face was censored, along with the part where I say my name as well... but I don't think it helped that much. I looked down to see the views, and- OH MY GOD... over 3 million views! Oh I am way past fucked!

With nothing left to lose, all I could do was tell the truth. "Yes. That drunken idiot is me." I said.

"And may I ask, why did this happen?" Jacob asked me.

"Because I was at my best-friends bachelor party, and the person who is on my back drugged me with roofies before the night even started."

"I see... Now as you can see, the results of a teacher or professor doing this disgusting kind of stunt, would cause either immediate suspension... or dismissal."

"Shit..." I muttered silently. "I guess I should go pack my stuff up and-"

"Shut up. I'm not done."

"Sorry."

"Now, knowing that your actually one of the university's youngest teachers, not to mention cherished by us... What I'm going to do, is cut some of your hours short as punishment."

"Jacob I'm sorry I did that, I had no memory of what ha-... what did you say?" I asked very surprised.

"I said, I'm going to keep you here."

"I'm sorry... I didn't understand that."

"The reason Ryan, is because that very hilarious, yet very inappropriate stunt you pulled... the students here are overjoyed that they have teachers with wild personalities... and would like to get interested with more learning, as well as taking more courses, including yours."

"So... I'm not getting fired, all because I got the entire student body to take the courses and mine seriously all because I went streaking in Vegas? But some of my hours are cut as punishment?"

"Yes. Just as long as this video remains secret between us and the school only. As long as you accept your punishment and if you don't tell anyone else about this, I'll give you something in return."

"Anything?"

* * *

I went to my classroom with a big smile on my face. I walked down the small stair steps and sat at my desk, amazed that I just got away with the biggest daredevil stunt anyone could pull off in generations... minus the whole getting shot thing.

As the bell rang, immediately students began to pour into the room quickly, much to my surprise.

"Ah, good morning everyone. Glad to see you all back again. Hope you had a good weekend, and I hope you took your time to read the book and wrote down what I discussed about." I told them.

Immediately, the students begin to fill my desk with their stacks of papers, which I assume to be their essays.

"Alright, before we go over this however, I want to introduce a new student to this class." I said looking directly at Penny.

If you're wondering what I wanted in return from Jacob... well, hopefully the last sentence made you figure it out.

**And I AM DONE! (crowd applause) my first finished multi-chapter story!**

**(Joe Esposito - You're the Best Around plays as the crowd cheers in my victory)... okay now I'm being a dick. Sorry.**

**And now, when the time comes, I will move onto the Hangover part II, which my sequel will be called "Taking on Bangkok"**

**I would like to thank all these people for their liking, reviewing, favoring, and following:**

**xxxxninaxxxx**

**residentkilla**

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**and azuresilver**

**Thank you all.**


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